Just another WordPress site
Today is the last day to enter to win a $50 Amazon gift card (purchased on my own). It is very simple too. Go to Monday’s post and at the end are the ways to enter. If you have already done one of the requirements, please leave me a comment. You won’t be entered unless you leave a comment. The contest will close at midnight Pacific Time (US). I will use random.org to generate the winner and announce it tomorrow morning. Thanks so much for all who have entered!
All of my life right now revolves around Joe’s job.
His job determines:
- That we move overseas every year for 9 months
- Where we live those 9 months
- What people I will be around for those 9 months
- What language I will need to (struggle) learn to speak for 9 months
- What activities and school our children will be involved with for 9 months
- What our home will look like for 9 months
But what I have been learning in a big way over this last year is that Joe’s job (and all of that listed above and more) does not need to determine my attitude. I determine my attitude.
This has been an ongoing battle for me to have my entire life revolve around my husband’s job. I have been doing this for the last 8.5 years and I am still learning how to let go of my own selfishness. This past year was even more of a test because now I also have 4 children to care for. There are times I just want to stop in the middle of the kitchen and shout “What about me?” But when I step back and look at where that attitude is coming from, I know this is a major area of sin God is gently working out in my life.
Here is some of what I have been reflecting upon over the last year as I struggle to serve and give of myself to my husband, my children and the basketball lifestyle.
1. I do need time for myself. Jesus gave of Himself more than I can ever imagine and He found it a priority to take time for Himself.
And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone. Matthew 14:23
The time I need alone though needs to be time to rejuvenate my soul. That often requires me getting up early so I can read, pray and meditate on the truths of God. In addition to those things, I need to spend some of the free time I do have in things that will build me up: reading encouraging books, working out, sharing with friends, writing posts that cause me to see my life in a proper light and with thankfulness. Too often I spend my free time on useless internet searching or checking of Facebook pages that don’t feed me, but stir up some of the temptations I am trying to fight against: discontentment, criticalness, and envy. Yes, sometimes my mind just needs a break, so in those times a more edifying thing to do may be to rest on the couch for a bit or just sit out on the deck with a cup of tea. Jesus’ free time was limited, so He made the most of it and I must do the same.
2. I am in the right place. Joe and I both believe we are to be together right now as a family, so this is the perfect place for me. And when I am where God has called me to be, He will grant the grace for whatever I need to do.
And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19
3. Serving as the least will produce greater rewards later. If I am living with an eternal perspective, I know that this life is but a breath (James 4:14). And I have the opportunity now to store up eternal treasures that will never perish.
- to clean what will be dirty in 10 minutes
- to wash the clothes that will need to be washed again tomorrow
- to make the bed that will be unmade at the end of the day
- to cook the meal that will leave dirty dishes
- to unpack what will need to be packed up again in 9 months
- to set up the apartment that will be left in 9 months
- to learn the language that may not be needed again
- to support Joe playing a game that may not matter in 2 years
All of these things that will not last, if done for God’s glory with a thankful and humble heart, are being made into lasting treasures in haven that I can one day enjoy forever.
Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. Matthew 6:19-20
So I have seen that as I grow to see things more from an eternal perspective, the time that I do have will be spent better and be more rejuvenating. And the time where I spend serving and loving and revolving around the precious ones in my life will be refreshing as well because I will have joy from knowing that I am blessing them and my life for all eternity.
For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, 18 as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:17-18
May 2011 be a year of humbling serving and giving of myself,
If there is one thing that has changed dramatically since Isaiah’s birth, it is that time seems to just fly by! So I should not be surprised that 2011 is only just two days away.
I prepared for the New Year once again though by setting goals and looking for a new “theme” for the year. In 2008 I focused on “Rest of Soul”, in 2009 my focus was “Thankfulness” and in 2010 I chose to key in on “Steadiness”. To figure out what I wanted to focus on in the coming year, I looked at some of my current struggles. Here is what I see as main areas of sin (not a comprehensive list because I could come up with way too many right now!)
- Laziness
- Wasting Time
- Defensiveness
- Critical of and/or Comparing Myself to Others
As I looked at those sins, I first considered focusing on humility because the root of those sins is pride (as with any sin). But I wanted something a bit more specific. So for the upcoming year I am going to focus on “Living for an Audience of One”. In other words, looking to God for my joy and not looking to the approval of others. I think as I look to find my satisfaction in God, those sin areas will be fought with joy and endurance. The song I picked to go along with that is “Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus” and the Scripture of Colossians 3:23-24. It has been a blessing the last few years to look at one specific characteristic that I feel like God is calling me to grow in by His grace. I saw His mercy in giving me a more steadfast heart last year and I pray He would do the same again in 2011.
Then I once again set goals in the areas of spiritual, relational, educational, community service/church involvement, financial, home care, environmental and reading. Looking back on last year’s goals, many were met by His grace. It definitely helped to review them once a month to keep myself on track.
Another way we look back on the year and celebrate God’s mercy is through a family slideshow. You can find that slideshow on the Home Page under “Featured Video” on the right-hand sidebar.
Praying your 2010 was blessed and the year 2011 brings even more joy and peace,
Is the weather. I love being at the end of December with the doors open and fresh air blowing in.
And this little man loves it too. Can’t you tell by his face?
Looking forward to ringing in the new year with 60 degree weather,
Last year for Christmas we spent 5 weeks at home, but that was actually the first time we had gone home for Christmas during the season. In the past, we either stayed where we were (2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2008) or Joe did not have a job yet, so we were already home (2006 and 2007). This year we thought about heading home once again. But we looked at what it would require: 1) a short trip for us all (6 days for a whole lot of money in plane tickets for the 6 of us), 2) me traveling by myself to stay longer, or 3) us paying for 7 tickets so we can have someone fly with me at least one way. So with those options, we decided it would be better to just stay put and enjoy a quiet Christmas by ourselves this year.
At times it can be hard to celebrate holidays on your own. I don’t tend to struggle with it as much as Joe does. But there are traditions I miss, as well as just being around family. But so many other basketball wives whose husbands have now retired say that in some ways they miss the years of being overseas during the holidays. Everything is slow, relaxed and you get some really great family time that is hard to come by when you are back in the States. So we decided to make the most of this year and really think about setting the tone for Christmas from this point forward.
** Disclaimer: This is not a post to make anyone feel guilty about how they do Christmas. I am simply sharing about how we chose to do Christmas this year. We are certainly not the standard and are not even totally set on how it will go from here on out. This is just how we chose to celebrate Christmas this year. We enjoyed it, so I am posting on it 
So I have been thinking about Christmas a lot over the past few years and how it could really be more about the birth of Christ. Being overseas, you do miss out on much of the commercialism of the holiday, which I see as plus, so I figured we were one step ahead there this year. We have also settled into a good Advent routine that I felt was preparing our hearts for an anticipation of celebrating the great gift of Jesus coming to earth as our Savior.
But it still seemed like it wasn’t totally about Christ’s birth for one reason: the day always seemed to be more about presents. We could talk about the birth of Jesus as much as we wanted, but when Christmas Day came and we were left at the end of the day with a mountain worth of toys and things for me to find room for, I had a hard time seeing that the kids had thought much about Jesus or anyone else on that day. So a series of events lead up to a change for us this year:
1. For some reason I remembered being in high school and opening presents over at my grandparents’ house on Christmas. There were only 4 grandchildren, so we each took turns opening. And one year it came to my cousin Nathan and he just had a couple of envelopes. And in those envelopes were donations made for the poor in other countries to receive gifts of livestock. I remember my initial thought being “That’s weird.” But when I heard that he had asked simply for donations to his favorite charity because he really didn’t need anything, I thought it was really cool. And I desired to have a heart free from material things like that.
2. Two years ago, my friend Maria sent me a video from Advent Conspiracy. It really got me thinking about how we feel like we “need” to buy gifts for people. And how so few people in our lives actually need much of anything.
3. Then I read about one family’s experience with not giving gifts on Christmas Day and instead finding ways to worship and to give gifts to Jesus by giving to “the least of these” (Matthew 25:37-40) over on A Holy Experience.
So after a few conversations, Joe and I decided we were going to try and change things up. We had never gotten the kids a ton of stuff at Christmas (I guess, I just say that in comparison to what others I know give). But this year we picked out two small things for each of the three children (we are the mean kind of parents who don’t get gifts for a baby) and then would let them each pick out something for each other. The gifts we had picked out were coming from a package from my Mom and was not looking like it would get here by Christmas though (not her fault, actually the first time one of her packages hasn’t gotten here in 2 weeks…under “investigation” now!) So on Christmas Eve. we decided we would just let Abby and Elijah give something to each other and pick out one thing for Naomi. So we did a last minute run to the store. We decided they would open the gift on Christmas Eve., so that Christmas Day we could focus on some other things. They also ended up receiving a gift on Christmas Eve. from the sister of the President of Joe’s club whose home we spent some time at on Christmas Eve.
On Christmas Day, we really tried to focus on the birth of Jesus. We had signs put up with Scripture celebrating the birth of Jesus, which we read at Christmas. We had balloons for His birthday and a birthday cake that we ate after dinner (we even sang, but I had to stop at the candles because how do you know how many to put on for an eternal God? Plus, then who blows them out?) We did family worship time and sang a lot of the hymns we had been singing throughout the month. We read the Christmas story in the Bible, storybook Bible and in our advent calendar. We ate a nice dinner and gave thanks for Jesus and one another. It was a really relaxed and fun day.
The highlight of the day for everyone I think though was picking out gifts for Jesus. I made some simple construction paper ornaments that we had sitting by us as we looked through the Compassion, Gospel for Asia and Harvest of Hope websites. The kids each picked out one gift they paid for on their own and then were able to pick out 5 other gifts that we paid for. As a family we then decided on a family gift. We couldn’t decide between a Jesus Well and a house for a family in Bangladesh, so we did both. I then wrote each of the gifts we gave on the ornaments and we hung them all on our tree. It was so fun to go through and see all the wonderful ways we could be a blessing to others.
Here are a few things I learned through that experience:
1. A lot of my hold-up from not wanting to do something like this earlier was from fear of man. What would people think when they heard we didn’t give our kids a load of gifts on Christmas? I think I was half-expecting the “child police” to knock on my door and ask for an explanation. It is off-beat, so it is not an easy thing to do when others may think you are a bit weird.
2. I also had thoughts running through my mind of my own Christmas memories. You can start to think that you are taking away the “magic” of childhood when you do stuff like this. This thought did not stick for long though because I had thought that one through when we decided not to do Santa and I know that good memories can be formed from lots of things. Good memories are often formed about the things that parents do with joy and get their own children excited about.
3. I understand the whole “we give gifts because we are being like Jesus who gave Himself as a gift”. But the more I thought about it, Jesus gave Himself to us because we HAD to have Him. We could not save ourselves. That kind of gift is giving to those IN NEED. I think that is why the giving we did this year was more enjoyable and felt more Christmas-like.
4. I also realized that I want to break free from the pressure of “having” to give gifts on certain days (Christmas, birthday, etc.) Of course on a birthday, I want to encourage that person who is special in my life with how much they mean to me. And maybe it is through a gift. But maybe it is through a letter. Or a photo video showing our special times together. Or a time out together to celebrate our relationship. I still want to give gifts, but I want them to be overflows of my heart. I want to see something I think would bless a person, buy it and give it to them. Not “save” it for their birthday or Christmas.
5. The kids also showed me how much more they enjoy two presents than fifty. They played with the two things they got so much more than they ever played with any one of the fifty they had gotten in the past years. I have always believed that kids are stifled by having too many things, but this Christmas really put that into reality for me.
So just some things that this Christmas taught me. I don’t know how it will work next year. I don’t know how it will work when we are home and relatives have gifts for the kids. I do know that this was one of my most favorite Christmas’s and that must say something.
Yesterday I launched the new site designed by my very talented brother. If you read these posts in an RSS feed, click through to check out the new layout. I am really excited about some of the new features here on this site:
1. Home Page
Before you would land right on the blog when coming to Married to a Baller. But now you come to my home page, where you can find my three newest blog posts, some family pictures (which will be updated ever few months) and a featured video (which will be updated every few weeks).
2. Easier Navigation
I hope that you can now more easily navigate through my site with the tabs and search bar at the top. Some of the pages and categories have been shifted around a bit, but for the most part, the general setup is still the same. Pages should load faster now as well as my brother gave me a quick tutorial of how to keep the pictures from turning people’s computers into something that seems like it’s running in mud.
3. New Logo
Not only do I have a new site design, but now I feel all official by having a logo to go with it that correspond to my Facebook page and Twitter account.
4. Connect Easily with Me
On almost every page you will be able to click on an icon to connect with me via RSS feed, Facebook, Twitter or e-mail.
5. Re-tweet or “like” my posts on Facebook
I would love for you to share my posts with others by using this new feature located at the end of each post.
6. Separate Basket Wives section
This was a big reason for me wanting to update the site. There used to be a separate Basket Wives site where women could get information about this lifestyle and get connected with other women who had lived in certain countries/cities. The site has been shut down and a Facebook group took over to function in a lot of respects. But I really wanted to have a permanent place where women could come and get information and not have to search through discussion posts. So the Basket Wives area is now there to hopefully do that. I did not want to turn this site into a site just for Basket Wives because I have things to blog about that I believe people in all walks of life can relate to, so the Basket Wives section has become a separate area. In there you can find information about Birthing Overseas, as well as women who have volunteered to be contacts for information about birthing abroad. There are also various topics (some still in the works) on packing, traveling with children, language learning, health insurance, etc. But the part I am most excited about is the map you see on the Basket Wives page. I have collected contacts for almost 200 cities across the world of women who have lived there for some part of a basketball season. During this week, I will be entering these contacts into the map. Basket wives and girlfriends will be able to go to this map and find women who have been in or around the city they are headed to and then e-mail them for information about the city. The ballers can even use it to find a player’s wife or girlfriend who has been in a city, e-mail them and get in touch with their husbands/boyfriends to find out information on a club such as whether or not they pay on time and how they are with accommodating for living quarters, etc. You simply locate a pin and click on it for the person’s information.
So to celebrate this new look, I thought it was time to hold a contest. I am giving you the chance to win a $50 Amazon gift card this week by doing any of the following:
1. Subscribe to my RSS feed.
2. Follow me on Twitter or “like” my Facebook page.
3. Re-tweet this post or “like” it on Facebook.
4. Link to this post on your own blog.
5. For those who don’t Twitter, Facebook, blog or have an RSS reader, you can simply comment on what your favorite thing is about the new design.
If you do any of the above things, leave me a comment about all that you did in the comments section. Each one that you do gives you a separate entry (so if you post this on your blog, join me on Facebook and re-Tweet this, you get three entries). You can enter with as many options as you would like. Each entry will be numbered chronologically and I will use a number generator to select the winner. The contest will run until Friday, so please spread the word!
Working on getting the site complete,
The last few days have been filled with illness here in the Crispin household. But what a way to prepare to celebrate the birth of Jesus! Sickness is just another reminder that things are not as they ought to be and that we as humans need a Rescuer. Praise the Lord that God sent His Son to rescue us from our sin. He was born a baby and lived 33 years so that He can comfort us in all our afflictions (2 Cor. 1:4), as He himself suffered more than we can ever imagine. What love is this (1 John 4:9) that God would send His own Son? We are worshipping God today for the precious gift of Jesus and wish your family a very Merry Christmas!
December 2010: Joe's current shoe of choice are the Kobe's
Having been an athlete myself, I think I can relate to Joe and his job much easier. But one thing I still cannot understand is a basketball player’s obsession with his shoes.
I played soccer and all we needed was one pair of cleats for normal conditions, another pair of replaceable studs for long, wet grass and possibly another pair of turfs for dry, hard ground. You usually didn’t get them for their look, as there wasn’t a ton of variety. I pretty much found my favorite cleats when I was about 12 years old (Adidas Copa Mundial) and didn’t vary too much from that over the years, except when I went to Penn State and had to wear Nike gear and they started coming out with more specific cleats for women.
But basketball shoes are a whole other “ball game”. They have high tops and low tops and any color you can imagine. Some shoes are heavier and more stable. Other are light and flexible. And it seems like the shoes you wear say something about you. I cannot count the number of times Joe has asked me after a game how his shoes looked and I had not even noticed he was wearing different ones.
These shoes are my nemesis though when we spend what I seem to think is obscene amounts of money on them (although he tells me he is pretty simple compared to other guys, which I do believe him on) or when I find them lying all over the house. Every time I see him looking online at another pair I always ask him how many he needs. I am always instructed on how there are shoes for practice, shoes for games, shoes for working out and others for just walking around. Last year though I found pictures of him in 3 different pairs of shoes during the games:
So am I the only wife that finds the shoe thing a bit crazy? What does your spouse have a lot of that you find hard to understand (I know there has to be some women out there with a lot of purses!)
For the past 7 years, the European grocery store has been on the the things I have been working to figure out. It was quite intimidating to step into that Greek store the first time in 2003 and try to discern how in the world I was going to learn to shop, cook and basically provide for the daily needs of Joe and I in a foreign country. I am sure many of you reading this blog now understand European grocery stores like the back of your hand, but for those who have never been or are maybe embarking in an overseas lifestyle for the first time in their life, let me share a little of what you may encounter.
1. The Carts. The first thing you are going to notice is that in order to secure a cart, most grocery stores are going to require you to put some sort of coin in the handle of the cart to release it. This is new to many of us in the U.S. where carts roam free and uninhibited around the parking lots. In Europe, the carts are all secured together by chains that are only released if you insert a coin. This does keep carts together, avoids incidental damage to a car and means you don’t have to dodge carts as you drive through the parking lot (except for those rebels that don’t care about getting their coin back and just leave the cart wherever they please!)
As you release the cart from the group, you will also notice another thing: it is WAY harder to steer then a cart in the U.S. I can remember our friend Larry coming to visit us in Greece and before we got to the grocery store, I had warned him of this fact. I think in his mind he was thinking I may have been over-exaggerating a bit, but once we had a full cart and his biceps were burning from trying to steer that sucker, he was a believer. If there ever is an incline in the parking lot and you have a rather full cart, watch out! You may end up using all your might to keep it from running away from you. Joe says it is simply the fact that they don’t lock the back wheels. But to me that seems such a simple solution that I find it hard to believe that is all it is and they haven’t fixed it. Surely a grocery store cart manufacturer has at some point come to the U.S. and seen the superior maneuverability and gone home to share this wonderful epiphany.
2. The Rolling Basket. Now where the European grocery carts fail miserably, the Europeans blow us away when it comes to the grocery basket. In the U.S., we pick up a basket when we are only there for a few items. And if you are like me, then realize you needed a few more things that you thought and end up mopping the sweat off your brow in the check-out line after hauling that ridiculously heavy basket through the store. The Europeans looked ahead to this problem and put wheels on the bottoms of their baskets with an extendable handle. Brilliant! Plus kids love to roll them and now you have two hands free.
3. Less Selection. I had mentioned before in what I love about Europe that there is not nearly as many options in the grocery stores over here. When I go home and go grocery shopping, it is completely overwhelming. It shows me why as Americans we have issues with obesity and materialism (besides the fact that they are just issues in the human heart): everything is bigger and with more selection. Europeans also eat very differently than we do it seems (they don’t eat much breakfast, they shop more often, they don’t graze as much throughout the day).
4. Produce. In the U.S., we find our fruits and veggies, put them in the little plastic bags and go on our way. In Europe, you are first expected to put on a plastic glove. Then once you have bagged your produce, you take it to a scale (sometimes there is a person running this) where you input the type of produce (usually through a number that corresponds to the produce), the produce is weighed and you get a price tag printed out. It seems like it saves time at the checkout because the cashier is not weighing the produce and punching in a number.
5. Keeping Items Stocked. One thing that has been hard for me to adjust to is what seems to be a different ordering pattern of foods in European grocery stores. In the U.S., it looks like they are always taking account of what is being bought and what is not being bought, adjusting their purchases of those items and continually taking account so that the shelves stay full of what is in demand. Here is seems like they come up with a list of what they will purchase and don’t change from that. So you can find an item one week and then not see it again for a month.
6. Smaller Aisles. The grocery store aisles here are much smaller and they stock things right in the middle of them. I try to avoid going to the grocery store on Saturday (and with 4 children) as much as possible because you can barely get through with the narrowness of the aisles and the large amount of people. Again, it is just like everything is done on a smaller scale.
7. Check Out. When going to check-out, most stores here charge you for bags. I really like this concept because it definitely encourages me to use my reusable bags more. But it doesn’t seem like it does with anyone else. I guess they just get used to paying for bags and don’t think anything of it. I used to think I would pay for the bags and then use them as trash bags, but it is much cheaper to just buy trash bags. You will also never see anyone bagging groceries for you. That is your responsibility to do so. Cashiers also sit down a lot in Europe. The first time I saw it, I thought the cashier was hurt, but then I realized that they pretty much all have chairs to sit and do their work.
Other people who have lived abroad, help me out and comment with some aspects I am missing,
One thing that I have gotten used to while living overseas is the amount of attention that is paid to our kids when we are out. I think there are a number of reasons for this:
1. A lot of people know Joe in whatever town we live in and so they recognize our children as his, so their love of him is projected onto our kids (especially the little 4 year old boy who is a spitting image of his dad).
2. Our kids look very different than many of the children in the countries where we have spent much of their growing-up time (Turkey and Italy). Fair-haired and light-eyed children are not that common in these countries. And a little red-head is even more uncommon.
3. Seeing a family with four young children is again very uncommon. One or two of them may draw some attention, but four together causes cashiers at grocery stores to call over others to look at them (This actually happened to me on Saturday. It’s sort of awkward when there are people behind you waiting.)
4. We don’t dress them like we are in the Antarctic. I think there are many times they are getting stared at because the people cannot believe we would let them out in the little amount of clothes that we do. We just go with the principles that 1) they will tell us if they are cold, and 2) they can be dressed similarly to us.
Anyway, those are probably some of the reasons that the kids get so much attention when we live overseas. And I have actually gotten so used to it, that it is a shock when we go back to the U.S. and they barely get a second glance. In the U.S. we have children that have ALL different looks, so our kids are nothing special. And having four young children, although still a bit out of the norm, is not nearly as rare. So I actually have to get used to people not saying much about them. When you live over here for nine months at a time, you have no idea the things you get used to instinctively. When you are at a store, you learn to expect the cashier to say something. When you are at a game, you are ready for people to come talk to the kids afterwards. I am not saying they are anything special (although I think they are great, but I realize as their mother I am extremely biased), but they are often treated that way so that I get used to it and don’t really realize until we get home that I have come to expect them to get extra attention.
I think there are a lot of things you have no idea that you get acclimated to until you get back home. And once you are acclimated back to the U.S. culture, it is time to leave for another season!
Welcome to my site. I am the wife of professional basketball player Joe Crispin and the mom to 4 children. This site is a way for me to journal through my life as I learn lessons, struggle through hardships and enjoy the life God has graciously granted us.
 |  |  |
