Bible Verses

Seeds Family Worship

May 17, 2011 By Erin Crispin 9 Comments

I had mentioned on my Master Resource List for parenting, a product called Seeds Music. Seeds Family Worship are different albums (digital or CD) that are Scriptures set to music to aid in kids memorizing Bible verses. I first heard about Seeds back in 2007 and sent them an e-mail to see if they had ever considered doing any albums for the ESV (English Standard Version of the Bible) because all of their albums were based on the NIV translation. Not that it is a huge deal, but we were working on Abby (then 3) memorizing Scripture in the ESV, and I didn’t want to buy music that might make things confusing in her mind. When I first became a Christian I read the NIV and I still sometimes get confused with verses because I had memorized initially in the NIV. Again not a huge deal, because memorizing Scripture is just great no matter what. But if I am going to buy something, I like it to be just what I want (part of the reason I am so stingy I guess!) But I still had no trouble recommending them because I thought their product was wonderful.

Back in 2007, I received an e-mail back saying that they had thought about the ESV, but for now were going to stick with what they were doing but may consider the ESV in the future. Well, I guess they kept considering it and maybe got a few more e-mails like mine because they have decided to switch over to the ESV and the first album having done so is out. It is called Seeds of Character, vol. 6 (there is also Seeds of: Courage vol. 1, Faith vol. 2, Praise vol. 3, Purpose vol. 4 and Encouragement vol. 5). One of the really cools things about purchasing one of their CD’s is that they give you two, so you can give one to a friend! So I purchased the newest album and would love to give one away to one of my readers. You don’t have to make any special comment, just comment (even just say “hi” if you have never commented before) and I will enter you in to win the Seeds of Character CD. You don’t have to have kids either. This would make a great gift for any children in your life (friends’ kids, nieces or nephews, etc.). The winner will be announced on Friday afternoon.

If you would to purchase some Seeds Family Worship music for yourself, right now you can get 20% off your purchase by entering the code BTW20 at the checkout. This is courtesy of Justin Taylor’s Between Two World’s blog that I HT below. You can see a video of one of the new songs at his site as well. Or listen to the whole album here for free. You can also download Scripture memory cards at the Seeds website that go along with each album. These are great tools for planting the Word of God into our children’s hearts (and these songs will get stuck in your head too, whcih is an added bonus!)

HT: Justin Taylor’s Between Two Worlds

Filed Under: Bible Verses, Christianity, Contests, More Favorites

Settling in at Home

May 5, 2011 By Erin Crispin 6 Comments

After our trip home on Friday, we had until Monday to spend with Joe until he had to go back to Barcellona to finish out the season. The first few days were pretty busy. On Saturday, Joe had a massage, my parents came up for the afternoon and stayed for an early dinner and we did trips to the grocery store and sporting good store (for t-ball equipment). Abby and Elijah were also supposed to have their first t-ball game, but it was probably a blessing that it was canceled due to rain. We went to church on Easter, the kids played outside more with Joe and we had a low key dinner. On Monday, Joe had an appointment with the chiropractor and his trainer and then his parents came for the day. I then took Joe to the airport, had some tears and came back to have him call 15 minutes later to say that his flight was delayed at least an hour, so he wouldn’t make his connection in Philadelphia. So his dad drove back out and picked him up and we had dinner out before they headed home. That night was a blessing to have one more evening together since the time had been crazy, but the next day he had to leave again and scheduled the earlier flight just to make sure he made his connection even if there was a delay.

So after dropping Joe off for a second time, I came home to the four kids who were at the house with a babysitter. It was nap time, so I got them down for naps and did some schoolwork with Abby. After they woke, I decided I would walk them to the park in our development. It was at that point that all of the sudden I felt very alone. It started to dawn on me that I was REALLY going to do this one my own for at least a month. I had 2 weeks before we had any more visitors coming to see us. And at this point, the kids were still all pretty jet-lagged. The three older ones were whiny and picky at one another. And Isaiah just wanted to be held the whole time. So when getting ready for and walking to the park included:

- about 10 requests from the kids for me to do something for them,
- Naomi tripping over her feet and skinning her knee,
- Elijah landing right in a puddle and soaking himself,
- Abby crying because she missed Italy and Daddy,
- and Isaiah doing one of his tired baby freak outs and scratching me on the face and making me bleed,

I broke down in tears right there at the park. Thankfully no one else was around so only my kids thought I was a crazy lunatic! I was still tired and fighting against the feeling that I was NOT going to be able to make it on my own. We spent a quick time at the park and headed home to take baths before dinner. As I put Isaiah down for bed, I called Joe crying (who was about to get on the plane). Aren’t I a nice wife? Nothing like sending you husband off on his 8 hour flight by hysterically crying that you won’t be able to do it!

The funny thing was, I knew those first days on my own would be hard. But I had spent so much time being excited for arriving home, that I didn’t prepare myself enough for the hard stuff I would encounter. I think a lot of us do this often in life. We get so excited about the wedding, that we forget that after that lies a marriage that will be hard work. We are so anxious for our baby to arrive, that we crumble once that baby is here and giving us sleepless nights and making us feel like we know NOTHING about being a parent. We get so jazzed up to start a new job, that we forget the newness will wear off and the day-to-day grind will be back once again at some point.

I don’t want to be a person who is always expecting the worst, but I do want to be someone who is prepared for trials. That is why this verse from the mouth of Jesus is always so encouraging to me:

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world. John 16:33

Jesus doesn’t tell us things will be smooth sailing, so we don’t see life with unrealistic rose-colored glasses. But he also tells us that we posess the power that He had to conquer death, so we don’t need to despair.

I am now 9 days into being on my own and we have already settled into a routine. The kids are adjusted to the time zone and we are full into activities and life here. So now the challenge is to remember that I still need the power of Jesus just the same as I felt I needed it that day in the park. I can’t do anything on my own, but sometimes it is easier to remember that when you have been brought to tears.

Filed Under: Bible Verses, Christianity, Our Family, The Basket Wife

Kids and Happily Ever After

April 7, 2011 By Erin Crispin 5 Comments

We enjoy our family movie nights around here (well, except for Isaiah because family movie night happens after he is asleep for the night). To be able to all pile onto the couch, cuddle, laugh, eat popcorn and enjoy a good story together is one of our favorite activities. Not only is it a great time to relax and get lost in a story, but movies are some of the greatest teaching opportunities with the kids because stories are a great way for them to visualize what we are saying. Stories are a great tools for imparting a worldview, which is why we want to be on guard against what movies, books and various stories of the world are teaching our kids.

Many of the movies we have watched this season as a family have had some great lessons in them. ” Kung Fu Panda” was a great example of perseverance and not judging others by outward appearance. “How to Train Your Dragon” was a good story on not following the accepted thoughts of others when those thoughts and narrow and not well-informed. ” Toy Story 3″ was a wonderful tale of friendship, loyalty and happiness that comes from losing your life for another. Joe and I enjoy these movies as much as the kids.

One of our precious princesses

And although the kids enjoy almost every movie we watch, the girls are especially drawn to “princess” movies. So when we watched “Tangled” the other night, both girls were enthralled. What little girl wouldn’t like a story about a lost princess with magical hair that heals people when the princess sings in her lovely singing voice? I enjoyed the movie as well, but was reminded why I am on guard against Disney princess movies when the two main characters (the love interests of the story, Rapunzel and Flynn) sang this song:

All those days watching from the windows
All those years outside looking in
All that time never even knowing
Just how blind I’ve been
Now I’m here, blinking in the starlight
Now I’m here, suddenly I see
Standing here, it’s all so clear
I’m where I’m meant to be

And at last I see the light
And it’s like the fog has lifted
And at last I see the light
And it’s like the sky is new
And it’s warm and real and bright
And the world has somehow shifted
All at once everything looks different
Now that I see you

Eugene(Flynn):
All those days chasing down a daydream
All those years living in a blur
All that time never truly seeing
Things, the way they were
Now she’s here shining in the starlight
Now she’s here, suddenly I know
If she’s here it’s crystal clear
I’m where I’m meant to go

Rapunzel & Eugene (Flynn):
And at last I see the light

Eugene (Flynn):
And it’s like the fog is lifted

Rapunzel & Eugene (Flynn):
And at last I see the light

Rapunzel:
And it’s like the sky is new

Rapunzel & Eugene (Flynn):
And it’s warm and real and bright
And the world has somehow shifted
All at once, everything is different
Now that I see you, now that I see you.

I itched in my seat because it sounded eerily close to this verse:

For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. 2 Cor. 4:6

And this is where we usually pause a Disney princess movie to discuss the idea that you will find yourself and your life fulfillment when you find that “one true love”. We agree that your life finds fulfillment in One, but that person is Jesus. He is the one to open our blind eyes to see we were created for Him and will only be truly happy when we find ourselves totally lost in His beauty. When we find ourselves lost in our eternal “happily ever after”, we can truly love and enjoy our relationships here on earth to the fullest.

Almost every children’s movie we watch has one of two themes (or a combination of both):

You can do anything you dream/set your mind to/your heart desire.

Your whole life is suddenly has purpose and joy when you find your one true love and you live happily ever after.

The problem with these two themes is that they ring true in our hearts because they are CLOSE to being right. But missing the mark can deal some fatal blows to the world views of our children. This post is only dealing with the second theme, so as to keep this post from getting completely out of hand. But both are deadly because you are counting on the purpose in life to come from another human being (either yourself or another), and that is a life that is not going to be consistently happy. When finding your joy in the One whom you were made for, you find true happiness that never changes.

So as much as we love our girls being princesses, we want their hearts to be swept away by the Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6).

Filed Under: Bible Verses, Christianity, Kids and ..., Parenting, The Kids

Kids and Contentment

April 6, 2011 By Erin Crispin 4 Comments

So I wanted to take a few posts to share some of what we are working through with our kids at their respective ages. I could probably fill a whole book with different issues that we can see in our children, but as God is patient to work slowly with us in our weaknesses, so we know we need to be selective in the areas we are focusing on with our children. Seeing too much of our areas of struggle can easily lead to despair for most of us. So this is not by any means an exhaustive list, but just a few specific areas that we see need to be addressed currently.

One thing we have noticed tends to be an area of struggle for Abby is with materialism. She likes to have things and is not as free with sharing her possessions as Elijah may be. When given an allowance, Elijah will be very happy to dump it all in giving, while Abby tends to hoard her money for what she can get with it. Now saving up for something that you want to buy is not a bad thing. We do want to encourage her diligence in saving, but at the same time we are looking to address the major heart issue where she is often lacking in contentment.

Now as with many issues I see in my kids, their struggle is often something God is working on in me. Although I don’t tend to have a big struggle with materialism, I do see how I can often fool myself into thinking that I don’t find a little too much joy in hoarding for myself. Whether it is saving for our emergency fund or saving up for a new American Girl doll (Abby’s latest desire), the lie that often is behind the desire is the same:

I can’t be happy without ______.

In reality the thing you are desiring may or may not bring you happiness. But the truth we can certainly bank on if we are Christians is different:

Even if I don’t have ______, I can be happy.

That happiness is called contentment. A rest of heart in what you have materially because you have been give all things in Jesus.

And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work. 2 Corinthians 8:9

Now there is great gain in godliness with contentment, 7 for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. 8 But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. 1 Timothy 6:6-8

Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5

Does that mean that we don’t want to put money in an emergency fund or have Abby save up for another American Girl doll? No, it is that we want to examine our hearts as we do so, repenting of any unbelief we see there that is telling us our happiness will come from possessing something. Here are a few ways we help ourselves and our children with this:

1. Spend time thinking about the purchase before it is made. I know for me, when I put something on my Amazon wishlist and let it sit there for a few months, it often loses its appeal. Buying spontaneously is something that doesn’t often result in good purchases. So we are working to build the habit of delaying purchases in the kids’ lives.

2. Look to see if there is something you already have that may fill the role of what you are looking to buy. Abby currently wants an American Girl doll when she already has one. For those of you who are not familiar with what an American Girl doll is, it is (usually) a historical doll that goes along with a set of books teaching about a specific time period in history. The catch is, in my opinion, they are outrageously expensive for what you are getting. They are nice dolls, but not $100 nice. The one Abby has you have to be really careful about brushing its hair and that is much of the fun of having a doll. So to purchase another, to me, seems a bit extravagant. I understand that she likes the other characters, but we have encouraged her to use her imagination to dress and do the hair of the one she already has in order to change who the doll is, not just purchase another one. You can see in the picture, she took her Felicty doll and made her a Native American skirt when she dressed up as Pocahontas.

3. Think of the last thing you purchased that you really wanted. When I am really desiring something and spending way to much time looking for deals on it on the internet or just thinking about it, I often think back to the last thing I REALLY wanted and look where that item is now. Has it lost its appeal? Did I lose interest in it quickly and revert back to something else I already had? This is really easy to do with kids because their interests change so often.

4. Keep your purchases in light of eternity. I am not going to go all “super spiritual” here and say that you need to remember that God doesn’t care about things, He cares about people. He does care more about people, but we also have a wealth of incredibly talented Christians in this world who invent, produce and sell amazing products to make our lives in some ways easier, freeing up time for other things. Items we buy can also be a blessing to others or simply just make life enjoyable, which God is certainly not against. He is a God of joy, and just like we enjoying watching our children lost in play enjoying something, He delights in seeing us enjoy things in life as well. But we do need to remember that this life is not all there is. Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also (Matthew 6:21). Time, energy and emotion put towards material things will produce a heart that is cold toward God. And for us as parents, our main goal in parenting our children is to raise up hearts that burn hot for God.

5. Be in touch with the lifestyle of the rest of the world. When people use phrases like “I need ____.” or “I have nothing to wear.” or “There’s nothing to eat in this house.” it reveals a great lack of vision for the state of the world. That is not an easy thing for children to grasp, but is one of the reasons I do enjoy this lifestyle we live. They SEE a lot more than most children do. And for much of the year we live without many of our things, so that they also come to understand that life can be enjoyable without a lot of stuff. Regularly praying for people in other parts of the world and being up-to-date on hardships others are encountering can be extremely eye-opening to how much we really have.

So those are just a few thoughts of how we are reiterating the truths of Scripture so that our children can be content with what they have, which is truly a lot. How do you battle to be content with what you have?

Filed Under: Bible Verses, Christianity, Kids and ..., Parenting, The Kids

The Brevity of Life

April 4, 2011 By Erin Crispin 8 Comments

This is going to sound really morbid to some I am sure, but lately I have thought a lot about my impending death. And not just dying at a ripe old age of 70-80, but dying and leaving a husband and young children behind. The thought has crossed my mind every now and then in the past, but I don’t know if I would call it a premonition or simply just one of those fears we all have.

Soaking up these sweet faces and moments while I have them

The thought of dying young has grown in the last week or so due to a number of factors. First of all, Abby brings it up a lot recently. At night, I will be tucking her in and she begins sobbing about not wanting me to die. This could be an age thing, along with the fact that in this lifestyle I am her only constant or she could be sensitive to things that are going to happen like children often are. It has been a good opportunity to preach the truth of God’s promises to her, especially since last week we were memorizing Psalm 56:3-4 in our family worship time. So I was often wondering if I was simply preparing her with the sword of the Spirit for various battles she will encounter in the future or for the exact battle she was fearful of fighting: believing God was working for her best if I died.

We have also watched movies or read things recently a lot about young mothers dying. And then last week we got the word that the sports information director Joe worked with while he was at Penn State lost his wife. She was 39 years old and died suddenly, supposedly just working out in their basement. She was a phys. ed. teacher in the prime of her life. And her husband and two young boys have been left behind. All of these factors got me thinking more about the fear of dying young.

The fear is not a fear of actually dying. Part of me seems to long every day to just be done with this world and go home to Jesus. The fear is more involved with what I am leaving behind here on earth. Part of it is silly, part of it is sin and part of it is just the ache of a heart that cannot see God fully for who He is now. Things crossed my mind like:

- Does Joe know how to run the washing machine?
- Will this cause the kids to hate God instead of seeing His loving hand upon everything?
- Will a future wife of Joe’s and mother to our children do things better than me?
- Will the kids long to have me at graduations, weddings and the births of their children?

All of these thoughts brought a big lump into my throat and tears to my eyes. But more than anything I realized how much control I like to have over my life. If I am going to die early, I want to know when. I want to know how much time I have left. Or if not and I am going to live to be old and wise, I want to know that too so I don’t think about dying young. But there are no answers to those questions in life. The only thing we know is what James 4:14:

You do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.

Our life is but a pin point in the great historical time line of this world. Many of us need to figure out what that means for after this life is over. But for me, I needed to think about what that means for me living today. So many people go with lines like:

If today was your last day, what would you do?

Live every moment like it’s your last!

Not that they’re all bad, but I read them and think, “Well, if today is my last day, I am certainly not going to clean the floor!” Even things like exercising, posting on this blog or cooking dinner would seem sort of pointless, but in every day life they are priorities. Instead, verses like these are encouraging to me:

So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. 1 Cor. 10:31

Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Ephesians 5:15-16

And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:17

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men. Colossians 3:23

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 2 Timothy 4:7

For me, those verses speak to being faithful in the little things, moment by moment. So maybe that is what it means to live each moment as if it is your last. In the last week, this has translated into looking at my interactions with my family. Is it worth it to get frustrated with Joe over something that is pretty insignificant? Is there any reason to have frustration with the kids over something childish? In other words, I want to be faithful in expressing the love of God to the close family and friends around me. That is going to look different in different relationships, but it has made me focus more of my energies into a few relationships instead of trying to be something to everyone. I want to soak up the moments with my husband, kids and close friends.

So I have no idea if I am going to die young (if I do, having posted this I may go down in the history books as one with a prophetic gift!), but I do want to live faithfully each day that I have been given because each day truly is a gift and no more are guaranteed.

Filed Under: Bible Verses, Christianity, The Basket Wife

Struggles of the Basket Life: Complimenting the Baller

February 4, 2011 By Erin Crispin 6 Comments

I think my husband is wonderful. And I could go on and on about how great he is, but you have probably heard it before. I don’t have any problems sharing publicly how great I think he is. But when it comes to our time in private, I tend not to be as expressive. Interestingly enough, I think he is much more vocal privately and a little more tight-lipped publicly. Not really sure why we are that way, but I know we are both working to be better in communicating our thankfulness for one another in all arenas.

A couple of weeks ago, I started thinking about why I am not as quick to dole out the compliments at home. Joe had just written a blog post and wanted me to read it to see what I thought. I could tell he was excited about it and kind of fishing for a compliment from me about it. And that is when the thought went through my mind that often does:

“Do you really need to hear how great you are? Don’t you get to hear it enough?”

Ugly thought, but it is one I have had. Maybe other wives don’t struggle with this, but I do. I am home taking care of the 4 kids, cleaning, cooking, and doing other various tasks to help Joe do his job better. Now that is my job. I am happy to be where I am. But there are times when it is hard to do it day-after-day without any public recognition. No one is cheering my name. In fact usually I hear more about how we need something from the grocery store or how someone doesn’t like the dinner I made or how the outfit they wore just yesterday isn’t clean yet.

In contrast, Joe is applauded for his job by many people. They have a cheer for him at the games. People want his autograph. His Facebook fan page has over 1,000 people. He gets e-mails almost daily from people contacting him telling him in some way how they appreciate what he does. So I don’t think it was totally insane to wonder in that moment why he needed more.

Bu then I stopped to think for a moment and realized that he doesn’t need more pats on the back from people who don’t know him very well (although he appreciates them more than most professional athletes I know), he wanted to hear confirmation of love from the one he is in a covenant relationship with.

The Bible defines marriage as a covenant (Malachi 2:14). This covenant relationship is to be the representation to the world of the covenant relationship that God entered into with human beings. God made covenants with Noah and Adam in the book of Genesis, which was a binding agreement from which God Himself would never depart. And the covenant was not made because of something that Noah or Adam had done, but initiated by God as a demonstration of His gracious love. There is plenty of other talk of covenant in the Bible, but one of the most powerful passages to me is found in Ezekiel 16:

Again the word of the Lord came to me: “Son of man, make known to Jerusalem her abominations, and say, Thus says the Lord God to Jerusalem: Your origin and your birth are of the land of the Canaanites; your father was an Amorite and your mother a Hittite. And as for your birth, on the day you were born your cord was not cut, nor were you washed with water to cleanse you, nor rubbed with salt, nor wrapped in swaddling cloths. No eye pitied you, to do any of these things to you out of compassion for you, but you were cast out on the open field, for you were abhorred, on the day that you were born.

And when I passed by you and saw you wallowing in your blood, I said to you in your blood, ‘Live!’ I said to you in your blood, ‘Live!’ I made you flourish like a plant of the field. And you grew up and became tall and arrived at full adornment. Your breasts were formed, and your hair had grown; yet you were naked and bare.

When I passed by you again and saw you, behold, you were at the age for love, and I spread the corner of my garment over you and covered your nakedness; I made my vow to you and entered into a covenant with you, declares the Lord God, and you became mine. Then I bathed you with water and washed off your blood from you and anointed you with oil. I clothed you also with embroidered cloth and shod you with fine leather. I wrapped you in fine linen and covered you with silk. And I adorned you with ornaments and put bracelets on your wrists and a chain on your neck. And I put a ring on your nose and earrings in your ears and a beautiful crown on your head. Thus you were adorned with gold and silver, and your clothing was of fine linen and silk and embroidered cloth. You ate fine flour and honey and oil. You grew exceedingly beautiful and advanced to royalty. And your renown went forth among the nations because of your beauty, for it was perfect through the splendor that I had bestowed on you, declares the Lord God. (verses 1-14)

The reason I find this passage of Scripture breathtaking is because God is talking about the way He saw us in our sin before we as Christians were cleansed through Jesus (although at this point the reference is to Israel and how God redeemed them as His people). The image God paints of us in our sin is pretty gross. We were covered in blood, naked, helpless, unwanted by anyone. And yet He set His love upon us and treated us as royalty. When you connect this picture of covenant with the picture of the convenient of marriage it is extremely powerful.

Almost anyone that is married would probably admit that their spouse has seen them at their worst. Joe and I see the parts of each their that no one else sees. It is sinful and ugly and gross. Yet what a powerful image of God’s love when we see that and yet look at one another and say with our words and actions, “I love you despite all of your sin and all your shortcomings. You are still the only one I want to spend the rest of my life with. And I think you are the absolute best.” When we can love like that, the world can understand the kind of love that God pursued us with while we were still dead in our trespasses (Ephesians 2:5 and Colossians 2:13).

So that is why Joe (and I so often) are looking for affirmation from our spouses. It is not because we necessarily needs more strokes to our ego (although it can be), but more often than not is is because the covenant love of marriage speaks the gospel to us. That is why the crowd may get pointed to when Joe hits a three, but it is only me who gets a look of desperation in a time of struggle or frustration during the game. That look says, “You know me more than any other person. You know what I am feeling right now and how to pray for me.”

That kind of covenant love is beautiful and something I want to be quick to remind my spouse of every single day.

Filed Under: Bible Verses, Christianity, Struggles of the Basket Life, The Baller, The Basket Wife

Just as Broken as the Next Person…Actually More So

January 24, 2011 By Erin Crispin 4 Comments

Right now I am reading a wonderful book by Mary Beth Chapman and this was a quote that spoke to me today:

“People need to know that Christian leaders, singers, preachers, writers, whoever, are as cracked and broken as the next person. Maybe more so. Hopefully they are in positions of leadership, though, because they are serious about following Christ, and so people can see that real success in the kingdom of God is not about being strong and looking good and knowing all the right answers. It’s about continually yielding oneself to Jesus and determining to take purposeful little steps of obedience, and the ragged reality that it’s all about God and His grace at work in us.”

- Mary Beth Chapman in “Choosing to SEE: A Journey of Struggle and Hope“

Joe and I had the privilege to stay with Steven Curtis and Mary Beth Chapman back in May of 2002 when we were engaged. It was just a short stay, but the impact they had on me was immense. I had never been around two people who were so open and real. They looked us two starry-eyed kids squarely in the eyes at breakfast the morning before we left and said, “You know this marriage thing is going to be the toughest thing you have ever done, right?” I think they were trying to warn us not only because marriage is tough, but because they saw we were headed into a lifestyle like theirs: unpredictable. And as I have read Mary Beth’s book, I see we are a lot alike: we thought our lives would be neat, predictable and comfortable and we married men whose jobs brought us anything but. I have not been through anywhere near what Mary Beth has, but I appreciate so much her honesty in her struggles of marriage, parenting and life. I came back to her and Steven’s words so many times through the years when it felt like Joe and I were some kind of freaks because life and marriage were hard and we were very open about our struggles. When other couples looked at us like we had two heads because of the knock-down, head-to-head struggles we went through with one another, I could at least rest in the fact that two other people in the world knew what it was like.

And in a day like today when I have come to tears or cried over:

- being sick and having a sick infant who only wanted to be held by me

- having all four kids at home with me today while it was raining outside, making the small apartment feel even smaller

- falling asleep with Isaiah on my chest, only to have Abby come into the room and wake us both up

- dealing with slow internet because we are using an internet key because the team never paid the internet bill

- seeing Abby in tears at gymnastics and then meltdown further due to culture stress

- doing a 56-point turn to get out of the gymnastics parking lot because people just park where they feel like it

- shrinking my husband’s favorite pair of sweatpants in the dryer

- having my husband bring home three super balls that made the already small apartment now feel almost claustrophobic

Being in tears over all this shows that I am seriously far from the “model” Christian. I am broken and most likely more so than the person who is reading this. My faith is weak and my belief in God’s promises is wavering at best. It is in these moments that I am thankful for women like Mary Beth Chapman that remind that God meets us in our weakness. His grace is shown beautiful when we are real about our struggles and get through them by the grace of God.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. – 2 Corinthians 12:9

Filed Under: Bible Verses, Christianity, Inspiring Quotes, The Basket Wife

Our Values For Parenting

January 17, 2011 By Erin Crispin 9 Comments

Thursday I referred to an article by the author of a new book dealing with one woman’s experience with traditional Chinese parenting. As one commenter noted, this article was obviously part of getting publicity for the book. It seems like that has worked because when I read the article there were over 4,000 comments on it!

So my original point was that as bothered by it as I was, I thought it was a good opportunity to step back and really think through my own mindsets and values in parenting. When you see something that you disagree with in another choices, it is one thing to just sit and complain or criticize it, but much more effective to be proactive and use it for good in some way. So I wanted to take a quick look (this could easily be a series of posts, but I am going to hold off on that for now) at how the Bible determines my parenting values.

1. God Overflows with Joy and Created Man in His Image To Do the Same

God did not “need” to create. He created because he was so full of joy Himself that He overflowed in that joy into creation. He was not lonely or in any way constrained to create us. That puts God at the very center or things, not us. From this view of creation, we can establish a couple of things for our children.

- God is the center of the world. Because we are not the center of the universe, we are freed from trying to draw attention to ourselves (or our children) and have life revolve around us (or our children), because it never will. God will always be supreme. Ms. Chua seemed to be just as guilty of revolving her life around her children as other self-esteem-type parents are.

- When you realize there is something more important that you, you are freed from selfishness to live for others. You aren’t worrying about what you aren’t getting or if others are getting more than you. You don’t have to put others down to make yourself look better.

- In parenting this results in being able to deal with issues like selfishness and pride from a heart perspective. Instead of just saying, “Don’t be selfish” you can deal with the heart of the issue that the child has placed themself at the center of their world. You can also be free as a parent from having to control or cater to your child because you know that God is ultimately caring for them. He is your child’s Creator and ultimately in control. Because He is loving and wise in all He does, you can be free from anxiety, worry and control.

2. God is Creative

Just taking a look around the world tells you how creative God is. Looking through a nature magazine will emphasize this fact even more. There are such a diverse number of animals, plants, and landforms. And He continues His creativity in people. We are all so uniquely made, with differing temperaments and gifts.

I know that having four children, we have four very different little people in this house. Even though they all look pretty similar, they seem more different than they are alike at times. Even in comparing them to us as their parents, there are differences. Elijah may look like a little Joe, but he is very different.

The hard work of parenting comes in discerning and learning your children. Ms. Chua calls it an excuse, which it can be when we are excusing disobedient behaviors But it is much more difficult to seek out the heart of your child and learn about them, rather than just deciding who you want him/her to be. You might create a great piano player by just deciding what your child to be that, but maybe you missed an even more exceptional artist.

3. God Delights in His Children

Before sin entered the world, God spent time walking and enjoying Adam and Eve. Although sin hindered our relationship with God and the fellowship we were created to enjoy, thankfully through Jesus, we are still delighted in. One of the most beautiful passages in the Bible on this subject to me is Zephaniah 3:17:

The Lord your God is in your midst,
a mighty one who will save;
he will rejoice over you with gladness;
he will quiet you by his love;
he will exult over you with loud singing.

The perfect God of the world is rejoicing and singing over us. What a beautiful picture of a perfect Father. The same should be said about us with our own children. If we are parents who are continually pointing out how our children need to improve or not measuring up to our own standards, they will equate performance to love. Although we still feel that standards should be kept, when they aren’t kept it doesn’t change our love for them. God holds us to very high standards, yet still loves us even when pointing out our sin.

Children instinctively know if you delight in them or if they are just a duty to you. And no one feels loved by being a duty to be fulfilled. When our children are having a tough time with things, I usually need to step back and look at two main areas: do I have clear standards I am consistently holding them to AND am I taking time to delight in them and let them know how much I care for them.

4. God is Perfect and Just

The above three statements could be the whole of our parenting if sin had not entered the world (of course, what challenge would there even be in parenting without sin?) But since each child and parent is a sinner, we must also be reminded of the fact that God is perfect and just. Because of God’s perfection and our sin, we must be held accountable for our disobedience. Thankfully Jesus paid the price to cancel our sin (more about this in the next point), but the principle still exists that we must reap what we sow (Galatians 6:7). God’s disciplining us is done from love and for our own good:

“My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord,
nor be weary when reproved by him.
For the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
and chastises every son whom he receives.”

It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits l and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, m that we may share his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. (Hebrews 12:5-11)

It would be unloving not to hold a child to a standard of obedience. Part of being a parent is teaching them how the world works so they can go out into it, function well and bless others. Children who have no standards and know nothing about consequences are not a blessing to society.

But holding children to a high standard does not give us as parents free reign to treat them however we would like. As I will address in the next point, God is wise about what is motivating to bring about obedience.

5. God is Merciful and Gracious

God being not only just, but also merciful and gracious, He found a way to forgive us while still upholding his perfection: through the work of Jesus on the cross. Because God has not given us what we deserve and has extended mercy towards us, we can extend mercy to our children in a variety of ways (read here more on how we employ grace and mercy in parenting). One way we can be merciful and gracious is by viewing one another in light of the cross. We believe the best, we encourage evidences of grace in one another lives and we speak words of edification. I am continually amazed by how we can think that it is motivating to scream, yell or in other ways disrespect someone. On the other hand, if we treat a child like they are perfect and never do any wrong, why change? We must be gracious and merciful in light of the fact that we are sinner and are being called to change for God’s glory.

I had a club soccer coach who was the most motivating coach I ever had because he had a healthy balance of praising me for what i did well and still working on what I needed to improve. He never told me I was terrible, but talked to me as the player he wanted me to be. I heard more positives than negatives and his expectations of what he wanted me to learn and be were always very clear. Of all the coaches I had, he got the best performance out of me.

6. God is a Giver of Hope and a Worker of Change

Without giving hope to a child, it is hard to have real motivation for obedience or change. Any of us become discouraged if we feel like we are fighting a losing battle. But God tells us that He is the one working in us to will and to work (Philippians 2:13). And God has promised to accomplish all He set out to do (Isaiah 46:10). Plus we have the promise of one day being freed from sin forever (Revelation 21:4) and a crown of life for those who persevered in this world (Revelation 2:10). This is all good news to motivate us to fight for faith now.

But this fight for faith is not to end with us. As John Piper so beautifully puts, we are to be “conduits of God’s grace”. God;s blessings are not to end on us, but as we say in popular terms we should “pay it forward”. When you have a picture of things being bigger than just yourself, there is a great motivation as well. We can be diligent not as an end in and of itself, but because God has freed us from sin so that we can be diligent to bring blessing to those around us.

Hopefully in all of these points you can see that you can agree with things like encouraging diligence, striving for obedience, and promoting confidence from a totally different core of beliefs. Looking forward to more thoughts on the article in the comments,

Filed Under: Bible Verses, Christianity, Parenting

Struggles of the Basket Life: Revolving Your Life Around Another

December 31, 2010 By Erin Crispin 5 Comments

All of my life right now revolves around Joe’s job.

His job determines:

- That we move overseas every year for 9 months

- Where we live those 9 months

- What people I will be around for those 9 months

- What language I will need to (struggle) learn to speak for 9 months

- What activities and school our children will be involved with for 9 months

- What our home will look like for 9 months

But what I have been learning in a big way over this last year is that Joe’s job (and all of that listed above and more) does not need to determine my attitude. I determine my attitude.

This has been an ongoing battle for me to have my entire life revolve around my husband’s job. I have been doing this for the last 8.5 years and I am still learning how to let go of my own selfishness. This past year was even more of a test because now I also have 4 children to care for. There are times I just want to stop in the middle of the kitchen and shout “What about me?” But when I step back and look at where that attitude is coming from, I know this is a major area of sin God is gently working out in my life.

Here is some of what I have been reflecting upon over the last year as I struggle to serve and give of myself to my husband, my children and the basketball lifestyle.

1. I do need time for myself. Jesus gave of Himself more than I can ever imagine and He found it a priority to take time for Himself.

And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone. Matthew 14:23

The time I need alone though needs to be time to rejuvenate my soul. That often requires me getting up early so I can read, pray and meditate on the truths of God. In addition to those things, I need to spend some of the free time I do have in things that will build me up: reading encouraging books, working out, sharing with friends, writing posts that cause me to see my life in a proper light and with thankfulness. Too often I spend my free time on useless internet searching or checking of Facebook pages that don’t feed me, but stir up some of the temptations I am trying to fight against: discontentment, criticalness, and envy. Yes, sometimes my mind just needs a break, so in those times a more edifying thing to do may be to rest on the couch for a bit or just sit out on the deck with a cup of tea. Jesus’ free time was limited, so He made the most of it and I must do the same.

2. I am in the right place. Joe and I both believe we are to be together right now as a family, so this is the perfect place for me. And when I am where God has called me to be, He will grant the grace for whatever I need to do.

And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

3. Serving as the least will produce greater rewards later. If I am living with an eternal perspective, I know that this life is but a breath (James 4:14). And I have the opportunity now to store up eternal treasures that will never perish.

- to clean what will be dirty in 10 minutes

- to wash the clothes that will need to be washed again tomorrow

- to make the bed that will be unmade at the end of the day

- to cook the meal that will leave dirty dishes

- to unpack what will need to be packed up again in 9 months

- to set up the apartment that will be left in 9 months

- to learn the language that may not be needed again

- to support Joe playing a game that may not matter in 2 years

All of these things that will not last, if done for God’s glory with a thankful and humble heart, are being made into lasting treasures in haven that I can one day enjoy forever.

Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. Matthew 6:19-20

So I have seen that as I grow to see things more from an eternal perspective, the time that I do have will be spent better and be more rejuvenating. And the time where I spend serving and loving and revolving around the precious ones in my life will be refreshing as well because I will have joy from knowing that I am blessing them and my life for all eternity.

For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, 18 as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:17-18

May 2011 be a year of humbling serving and giving of myself,

Filed Under: Bible Verses, Christianity, Living Abroad, Struggles of the Basket Life, The Basket Wife

New Year 2011

December 30, 2010 By Erin Crispin 6 Comments

If there is one thing that has changed dramatically since Isaiah’s birth, it is that time seems to just fly by! So I should not be surprised that 2011 is only just two days away.

I prepared for the New Year once again though by setting goals and looking for a new “theme” for the year. In 2008 I focused on “Rest of Soul”, in 2009 my focus was “Thankfulness” and in 2010 I chose to key in on “Steadiness”. To figure out what I wanted to focus on in the coming year, I looked at some of my current struggles. Here is what I see as main areas of sin (not a comprehensive list because I could come up with way too many right now!)

- Laziness
- Wasting Time
- Defensiveness
- Critical of and/or Comparing Myself to Others

As I looked at those sins, I first considered focusing on humility because the root of those sins is pride (as with any sin). But I wanted something a bit more specific. So for the upcoming year I am going to focus on “Living for an Audience of One”. In other words, looking to God for my joy and not looking to the approval of others. I think as I look to find my satisfaction in God, those sin areas will be fought with joy and endurance. The song I picked to go along with that is “Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus” and the Scripture of Colossians 3:23-24. It has been a blessing the last few years to look at one specific characteristic that I feel like God is calling me to grow in by His grace. I saw His mercy in giving me a more steadfast heart last year and I pray He would do the same again in 2011.

Then I once again set goals in the areas of spiritual, relational, educational, community service/church involvement, financial, home care, environmental and reading. Looking back on last year’s goals, many were met by His grace. It definitely helped to review them once a month to keep myself on track.

Another way we look back on the year and celebrate God’s mercy is through a family slideshow. You can find that slideshow on the Home Page under “Featured Video” on the right-hand sidebar.

Praying your 2010 was blessed and the year 2011 brings even more joy and peace,

Filed Under: Bible Verses, Christianity, Our Family, The Basket Wife