Benefits of the Basket Life: Seeing a Professional Sports Game for $1

We have really enjoyed living in Mariupol, Ukraine so far.  It was a leap of faith for us in many ways because much of what we heard about the city was not positive.  As we looked at our hearts and the desires for our family though, we felt like God was calling us to step out of our comfort zone and go for it.  Maybe it is because we had such low expectations for this city that it has been a pleasant surprise.  Of course, like any place we have lived, there are aspects of the city we could do without.  But one of the best things about this city is that there is so much more for us to do than in the previous 4 years or so.  We have found some good parks, great restaurants to eat at, a bowling alley and ice skating rink, a nice area in the center of the city to feed the birds, etc.

But one of the greatest finds was on Saturday when Joe took Elijah to a professional soccer game here in Mariupol and paid $1 each for mid-field seats five rows up.  ONE DOLLAR.  You can’t get into a high school girls basketball game for that in the States!  And it was a good game too.  Elijah had a blast and Joe enjoyed the two hours out with him.  We haven’t found a better deal for $1 anywhere else.

I think another aspect that is helping us enjoy Mariupol more is our overall attitude.  We decided that if Joe was going to take this job, we were going to “go for it”.  That meant to us that we would view it as an adventure and an opportunity for God to refine us.  I think that really helped prepare me to be thankful when we got here.

But since arriving here, another attitude check has helped us.  We are finally realizing how good we have it with this lifestyle…it only took 9 years ;)   We have always enjoyed the slower pace and been thankful for the opprintunities we have had, but I always had the sense we were sort of living with one foot still in the U.S., which is hard not to do in this lifestyle.  But this year, I feel like we have completely embraced where we are and seen what a blessing it is to have this time together as a family.  We are soaking it up, relaxing, enjoying one another and the kids, and realizing this journey is going to be coming to an end soon.  There will still be challenges here for sure, but the change of attitude will hopefully prevail and give us thankful and joyful hearts.

And we will enjoy a few more soccer game for $1.

The Timeline for Settling In Overseas as a Basket Wife

Settling in includes seeing this precious smile throughout the day again.

One question thoughtful people often ask me after a trip overseas is “So are you settled in yet?”  I have thought more about that this time and decided that “settling in” is really a process when you come overseas (as it is when you go home, but different in many ways).  Here are some milestones I generally hit when moving to a new place overseas:

  • 1 Week In: After we have been somewhere a week, the bags are usually unpacked, we have made that first big grocery store trip and I have cooked a meal or two at the apartment.  In the first week we also tend to get school underway again for the kids and by the end of the week our sleep is starting to get back on track.
  • 2 Weeks In: By the time 14 days have passed I have usually rearranged the furniture in the apartment at least once to find where I like things best.  I also usually have a better grip on the grocery store by this time and am starting to formulate a meal plan for the season by what I can find.  And typically after two weeks have gone by there has been an away game so that I have survived in the city on my own, which is a big milestone.
  • 3 Weeks In: Anyone that has moved abroad with a toddler knows that even though the sleep is adjusted after about a week, they don’t become themselves again until almost the third week.  Isaiah finally became his happy little self again by the third week, which was a huge relief because he was pretty miserable for the first two weeks.  I think the toddler age (1-2) is the toughest for travel and settling in…and I think it is hardest traveling west to east, so this was Isaiah’s roughest trip (hopefully).  By 3 weeks in we have a daily routine pretty well established now and usually have our favorite parks and places to eat.
  • 4 Weeks In: We have now been in Ukraine 4 weeks and I feel officially “settled in”.  We have our favorite foods from the grocery store (learning new brands is always interesting…trial and error) and have figured out the little idiosyncrasies of our building and apartment.   The kids no longer need to ask where things are and have begun a new series of games that they play according to what type of apartment we have (whenever we have an apartment with a big bath tub, bath time becomes a major play time…same thing if we have a large deck).

I think over the year of traveling I have come to enjoy the process of settling in more by the grace of God.  I used to be rushed to get unpacked and get the kids on a schedule.  The last few years I realized I was rushing to get nowhere.  We have plenty of time over here for settling in and enjoying the process.  And I think in being more relaxed about it, it helps everyone actually settle in more quickly.

Hope everyone has a great start to their week.  Looking forward to our 5th week in Ukraine,

Benefits of the Basket Life: Learning to Cook a Holiday Meal

I think God has graciously given me selective amnesia to protect me from remembering how hopeless I used to be in certain situations.  For example, I cannot remember the first holiday meal I tried to cook overseas.  I think our first holiday overseas had to be Easter of 2003, but I have no recollection of attempting a meal.  The next would have been Thanksgiving of 2005, but once again, I don’t remember giving turkey, stuffing and mashed potatoes a go.  My thought is that it was such a pathetic attempt that God has spared me from the memory.

I have mentioned before that I am not a cook.  Cooking doesn’t get me all jazzed up like it seems to do to some people.  I had home cooked meals growing up, so it wasn’t like I didn’t have an example.  But I am pretty sure I have heard my mother say many times that she isn’t a big fan of cooking either.  So most of our family dinners I would say were relatively simple: spaghetti and meat sauce (my favorite of my mom’s), chicken and rice, meatloaf and macaroni and cheese, etc.  My dad was not a veggie guy, so we never had to have an extra side dish there either (mom made us get our fruits and veggies at other meals and snacks).

But in July of 2002 I married a man who came from a family where he went to his grandparents’ house to eat at least once a week.  At these homes there were meals on an everyday Tuesday night that looked like a Thanksgiving spread.  His home meals consisted of food mostly from scratch with about 3 side dishes on average.  Thankfully, he was very patient with me when I first started cooking and also bought into some healthier options that stretched him out of his normal “meat and potatoes” dinner routine.

But holidays were a different story for my husband.  Joe is a homebody and he misses holidays at home.  He is very attached to the memories and “feel” of Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter.  He has certain foods he likes to eat at those times and without them, it doesn’t quite feel the same.  I can remember the first time he asked me to make mashed potatoes and I looked at him and said, “Like from a box?”  I can remember the glazed look in his eyes as he tried to come up with a reply for that.

So I have tried to do my best to make a holiday meal that will be a blessing to my family overseas.  But as anyone knows who has lived as Basket Wife over here: it is not easy.  Not only can it be tough to find all the ingredients you need for things, but you are also using kitchen appliances and tools that are not your own (and can range anywhere from a weak vegetable peeler to an oven with an open flame and no temperature control).  Then add in the fact that you are often doing it all by yourself while your husband is probably off at practice because many of the big holidays for us aren’t recognized by the team, and it can make for a challenging meal.

I have come to see it as a blessing for me though.  If I had lived at home in the U.S. for these last 9.5 years, there is no way I would have ever cooked a full holiday meal.  I would have been happy to sit by while our two families hosted and our older female relatives made the majority of the food.  I may have thrown together a salad or dessert now and again, but that is about it.  I wouldn’t have discovered some of our new favorite recipes for mashed potatoes and stuffing.  I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to have failed recipes that we could all laugh at.  And most of all, I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to sacrificially serve my family by having myself stretched to do something I am not totally comfortable with.

And that has been the biggest blessing to me in this lifestyle: being pushed beyond what I thought I could do.  By God’s grace I have learned so much more in marriage, parenting, home care, language, culture adjustment, etc. than I ever could have apart from this lifestyle.  You are forced you to go beyond your comfort level.  And that is what I think is one of the greatest gifts God has given me as a Basket Wife.

Travel Overseas 2011 (Mariupol, Ukraine)

We been here 2.5 weeks now, so it is about time I got our travel post written. I enjoy writing these down because to go back and look at them is always a testament to God’s grace and mercy in my lie. Traveling is not one of my favorite things, and to do it with children makes it all that more interesting. But it is part of our life and has become something that I have been able to embrace…and even enjoy at times.

If you are interested in some of my other travels with children, here are some brief travel stories from 2005-2010:
Our Years of Travel, Part One
Our Years of Travel, Part Two
Our Years of Travel, Part Three

And some more in-depth stories from 2009-2011:
Travel Home 2009
Overseas Travel 2010 (Brindisi, Italy)
Travel Home 2011

So this season, our travel to Ukraine consisted of three flights. Originally, the plan had been to fly from State College to Dulles. In Dulles, we would meet up with Joe’s mom and sister who flew from Philadelphia. Then we would all fly from Dulles to Munich, Germany, then Munich to Donetsk, Ukraine and then take the 2 hour bus ride to Mariupol, Ukraine. Joe called me about a week or so before we were to leave saying that there was only a 10am flight out of State College on the Sunday we planned to leave. We had asked for a 2:40pm flight, but apparently that flight only runs during the week. So I could leave at 10am and have an 8 hour layover in Dulles, or we could fly the next day. I didn’t want to start off the trip with sitting in the airport for 8 hours with the kids, but I also didn’t want to cut Joe’s family’s visit short since they were only staying through Saturday. So Joe and I hung up to pray about it and a few minutes later he called back and said, “Why not just see if there is a later flight out of Harrisburg and you could stay at your parents’ house the night before?” So we checked and there was a 2pm flight from Harrisburg, I called my parents and they were happy to have us, and so we changed the first flight.

Normally, staying at someone else’s house the night before we have to fly out would not be appealing to me because the kids would be super wound up and maybe not sleep as well in another house. But my parents’ house is like a second home to the kids and me. We have spent a lot of time there, plus my mom and I are on the same page when it comes to getting kids to bed on time and having them well-rested. And staying there the night before actually ended up to be better than being at our own house simply because I was able to relax more for the 24 hours before we left. There was nothing else I could take care of: our house was closed up and clean, stuff was packed and I didn’t even have to cook.

At Harrisburg airport with Aunt Krista

Sunday morning we let the kids sleep in and relax. My parents were heading to a Steeler’s game at noon and my brother had a soccer tournament, so my brother had arranged for his wife, Krista, and their friends Rich and Heidi, to take us to the airport. Aunt Krista rode with us and Rich and Heidi drove her car with a majority of the bags. We got to the airport and got unloaded and I was prepared to just head in, but Krista suggested her coming in with me while I got checked in. So Rich and Heidi each took a car and went and sat in a waiting lot until Krista called. I really should know by now that it is very helpful to have someone with you during the check-in process. For some reason it always takes long for us. So having Aunt Krista there to entertain for 20-30 minutes while we got checked in was a good way to start the trip.

We got checked in and were walking to the security check point when my phone rang and I saw it was Joe’s other sister, Kellie. She said Joe’s mom had just been in a car accident and broke her wrist and was headed to the hospital, but they were sending Karlie on the flight to Dulles (Karlie is 16 years old). She said she wanted to try and get in touch with Joe to see if they could change his mom’s ticket to his dad. So I sent Joe a text message to call Kellie, said good-bye to Krista and we headed through security. At this point I was trying to stay calm, because as anyone knows, emotions are already running high with your kids when this sort of travel is involved. You have to prep them for what is coming as best you can, but when those plans suddenly change, it is tough for them to adjust to those changes. So I calmly explained that Amma got hurt and probably wasn’t coming on the trip and that we may still be meeting Aunt Karlie in Dulles or we may be doing it on our own.

Eating pizza at Dulles airport

When we got to our gate and I was able to talk to Joe, and he said a ticket couldn’t be changed into his dad’s name, but they were hoping his mom could get her wrist set and come the next day. The concern was that if his mom couldn’t come the return flight for his mom and sister was to go back through Munich where they would spend the night and fly out the next day. Having a 16-year-old stay in Munich by herself in a hotel wasn’t a great idea. At that point, I thought it might be best for Karlie to just stay home, but he said she wanted to come and was on the way to the airport to see if she could still catch her flight. So we got on our flight to Dulles and made it there without much trouble.

We landed in Dulles and heard from Joe again that his mom’s wrist was very badly broken. She was hit on the right front wheel of the car when someone ran a stop sign, which jerked the steering wheel where her hand got caught and really fractured her wrist. So she was going to need surgery and would not be able to come. But Karlie had made her flight and would be in Dulles. So now we had to figure out how we would get Karlie home. The first thought was that I would fly back to Munich with her to spend the night and make sure she made it to the flight the next day. But the travel agent for the team worked to find a flight that would fly through Poland instead and be continuous travel, just leave VERY early on Saturday morning. So after waiting on our own for about an hour, Aunt Karlie came walking to the gate and the kids were very excited to see her.

Excited to see Aunt Karlie

Karlie was pretty excited to be traveling on her own, but had been rushed getting to the airport, so I sent her with my credit card to get get some food since we still had about 2 more hours until we boarded. The kids did some playing with a few other kids in the area, as well as play on their favorite airport feature: the pay phone. It is always funny to me how “cool” they think pay phones are and the fact that they can just dial away and it doesn’t ever make a real call. Karlie then told me that she barely made her flight in Philadelphia and that she only had the one bag that she and her mom had packed together, not the second one we had sent for them to bring because they had run out the door so quickly that neither her nor her dad had any extra money on them to pay for the extra bag.

So we got settled on the flight to Munich. Since Karlie and her mom’s tickets were from a different starting point, their seats weren’t with ours, so we had one seat two rows behind and to the side of the four seats that were in the middle bulkhead row. The kids were so excited to have Aunt Karlie there that they really wanted to sit with her, so we started off with me back in the lone seat with Isaiah and Karlie with the other three. I didn’t think it would last long, not only because three kids is a lot for a 16-year-old to handle, but because they would start getting tired and Naomi especially would want Mommy. So we got seated for take off and Isaiah was very tired. He ended up falling asleep on take off and the flight attendant then quickly got the bassinet set up in front of the kids. None of our kids have ever really slept in those, so I didn’t think it would happen. I do think Lufthansa has nicer bassinets than other airlines I have seen though. It was very cushy and I was able to lay Isaiah down, strap him in and he stayed asleep. About 20 minutes later, Karlie got up to go the bathroom and Naomi started whining for Mommy, so I moved up with the kids and put Karlie back in her seat. So I got about 20 minutes on my own ;)

Sleeping in the bassinet

The kids ate a little bit (but not much, my kids do not like plane food, although Abby said she liked the food on Lufthansa better than US Airways…I would agree) I told them they would be able to watch movies until the lights got turned out. And I made sure to keep reminding them of this fact so we could try and avoid any meltdowns. Naomi actually ended up falling asleep while watching her movie and slept for about 5 hours, on and off (she has a tendency to wake up crying and have to be calmed back into sleep again). Elijah (my best traveler overall throughout his life), put his thumb in his mouth and went to sleep when the lights went out and slept for 6 hours. Abby (who always has a tough time calming down for sleep) did settle herself and sleep for about 4 hours. After about 2 hours, Isaiah woke from the bassinet, slept on me for about an 1 hour and then went back in the bassinet for another 1.5 hours. The other three hours he spent with me.

We made it to Munich and I think everyone was relieved to have the big plane ride over with. We took our time getting to the next gate by stopping for bathroom breaks and walking slowly. We got to the gate and saw that instead of having an hour until the flight, it looked like the flight had been pushed back about 1 hour and 45 minutes. So the kids had more time to wait, which at this point they were getting tired of. Isaiah started to hit his meltdown point. Naomi (who I would say has been the worst traveler so far in her days of travel) was getting very ornery and really starting to test my patience. But at that time, a man sitting behind us turned around and said, “So what are some other Americans doing headed to Ukraine?” And that was the way I got to meet Paul and Lisa and hear about their journey of adopting 2 Ukrainian boys. That journey allowed us to go to the orphanage and meet their sons, share two meals with them and have them attend one of Joe’s basketball games over the next week!

My seasoned travelers

The flight to Donetsk finally took off 1 hour and 45 minutes late, but unfortunately their wasn’t a good tailwind to allow the flight to make up time. On that 2 hour flight, Abby, Isaiah, Karlie and I slept the majority of the way, while Elijah and Naomi did a pretty good job sitting quietly and entertaining themselves (well, Naomi did talk to me a lot but I was so exhausted I couldn’t even answer her).

We arrived in Donetsk and thankfully Joe had prepared me for what the airport was like: bare bones. We went through customs and then to a small area where we had to pick our bags up off the back of a truck! No carts or anything, so I went out and located the woman from the team, Alice, who was meeting us and she was able to come back and stay with the kids, while Karlie and I carried the bags out to a spot where we switched off standing there with the bags. Once we had the bags out into the main airport area, Alice took the kids outside and the bus driver and I carried all the bags outside while Karlie stayed put with the remaining ones. Once outside, the bus driver and I loaded them on the bus, while the kids went to the bathroom inside with Alice. We then got on the bus and got to meet the other family (mom, 4 kids and grandma) who had also traveled that day and had been waiting for us to arrive so we could all drive to Mariupol. The ride was a bit bumpy, but after Naomi watched some of a movie with the other family, she and Elijah fell asleep. Isaiah and I were in and out of sleep as well. After two hours we finally arrived at the team gym at about 6:30pm local time, a little over 24 hours of when we left my parents house the day before. We then got our stuff out of the bus and loaded up into our car, while Alice went in and picked up the keys to our apartment. We then made the 20 minute trip to our apartment where we finally crashed!

So that was our trip here. God was gracious to provide abundantly (often in ways we did not plan) to bring us all here safely and reunite us as a family once again. Many reasons to give thanks once again,

What I Like Wednesday: Before You Know It

Being in our 6th foreign country now in Joe’s 11 year career means that we have had to adjust to a lot of languages. Spanish and Italian were the easiest. We both took classes in Spanish at some point. Italian was close to Spanish and we spent three full years in Italy. The languages that have been the most intimidating however are those whose letters are not even recognizable to me. So Greek and Russian have really left me scratching my head. For example, here are the different ways I have had to learn to say “excuse me”:

με συγχωρείτε- Greek

przepraszam- Polish

mi scusi- Italian

perdón- Spanish

özür dilerim- Turkish

извините- Russian

In Italy, Spain and Turkey we used the Rosetta Stone language program. Both Joe and I enjoy it, and it is easy for the kids to sit in on and learn as well. But it is very pricey. Plus sometimes I just need some basic words that you don’t get in the early lessons of Rosetta Stone.

So a good (and free) solution for me has been using the Before You Know It language learning system. You can download the free version that will give you a great start on the language (more than I ever need for the duration of a basketball season). They have over 70 languages to choose from. And if you go beyond the free program, you can upgrade to deluxe or take an online class with a language coach. They also have a simple “word a day” offer for those who are looking to go at a very slow pace. And like most things these days, there is a mobile app as well.

The Basket Life: Cheap Room Decorating

When you get an apartment overseas with a basketball club there is a large variety of how that apartment might be furnished and decorated. We have had a range: from the sparsely decorated to the very ornately (often culturally appropriate) decorated. Sometimes there are kids items there and sometimes there aren’t. Since we are usually spending about a half a year in this place, we want the kids to feel at home. So this year something cheap and easy I did was to cut out the letters of their names with construction paper and make construction paper “frames” for pictures to decorate one large wall in their rooms. It was sweet how appreciative they were of such a cheap, easy decoration. And one bonus that I didn’t anticipate was that it has taught Elijah how to spell everyone’s name. Now he goes around telling everyone how their name is spelled!

Have a happy day from our home to yours,

10 Reasons I Know I’m Back in Europe

Back in the European basketball arena with the boys.

Within the first 24 hours of arriving in Ukraine, I was reminded in various ways that I was back in Europe for another season (trying to come up with different idiosyncrasies than I have commented on in the past):

1. I had to figure out where the circuit breaker was when Joe was off at practice on our first full day. After laughing we blew it on the first day, I was thankful I am a vet wife and knew to look above the front door entrance.

2. Shortly after the circuit breaker kicked off, the washing machine didn’t drain and dumped water all over the bathroom floor.

3. I lit the stove with a lighter.

4. I took a shower in a tub without a curtain. After that shower, I enjoyed a warm towel from the heated towel rack.

5. It took me about 10 minutes to figure out how to open the front door of our apartment and of our building.

6. I picked food scraps out of the sink (bye-bye garbage disposal).

7. I ate fresh bread from the bakery.

8. A load of laundry took 3 hours.

9. Nutella became a staple in my diet once again.

10. I had to locate the one outlet in each room and re-arrange accordingly.

Hope everyone has a great start to the week!

Packing for the 2011-2012 Season: Bags #6 and 7 plus Carry-Ons

Phew! Last week was quite a week.  I am actually writing this post on Saturday and when you are reading it, hopefully we are close to, if not already, in Ukraine!

I packed bag #6 on Thursday.  At this point I can’t even remember what was in that bag. But I do know it consisted of more clothes (with 5 of us, the clothes seemed to be never-ending, even with only taking about 12 outfits each).

Friday morning I got up and got the last bag ready to go. I knew what would need to go in it: last minute clothes, all the special blankets and stuffed animals, last minute toiletry items, a few more school things for Abby and a few more things Joe had ordered. Then on Friday mid-morning my parents came up to help me out for the day. They loaded those 6 bags up to take back with them since we were flying out of Harrisburg airport, near where they live. Then my dad walked the kids up to the park while my mom and did some cleaning of the bathrooms, putting fresh sheets on the beds and cleaning the kitchen. Then they took us out to eat at Cracker Barrel. It is always a must to get some of your favorite American food before leaving!

We visited with friends that evening and I ran two more loads of laundry that night. Saturday morning I woke up and finished up all the last minute details: folded the last of the laundry, cleaned out trash cans, emptied out the refrigerator and pantry, cleaned up dishes and finished up the carry-ons. Each of the four carry-ons consisted of:

- empty water bottle
- Ziploc bag with snacks
- Ziploc bag with extra clothes
- headphones
- books
- crayons (Naomi’s bag)
- Kindle, journals and sticker book (Abby’s bag)
- Leapster and magazines (Elijah’s bag)
- CARES harnesses, No Jet Lag, passports, itineraries and camera (my bag)

We then drove to my parents’ house. It was a feeling of relief and panic as I drove away: relief because I didn’t have to take care of any more house stuff, but panic that I had forgotten something. As I drove and talked to my friend Kearstin on the phone, I remember that I forgot a pair of warm-up pants Joe wanted, but if that is the only thing that I think I am in good shape!

The trip is broken down into about 5 parts:
- drive to Harrisburg (about 30 minutes)
- flight from Harrisburg to Dulles (about 45 minutes)
- flight from Dulles to Munich (about 8 hours)
- flight from Munich to Donetsk (about 2 hours)
- drive from Donetsk to Mariupol (about 1.5 hours)

So if you are reading this on Monday and would pray for safe travels, I would appreciate it! We are really looking forward to being reunited with Joe. It has been six weeks that we have been apart and before the two days he was home we were apart a month, so these 2.5 months have been long for me. I am REALLY excited to see him and be together as a family again. Thanks to everyone who has prayed for us, supported, encouraged and served us over these last months. We love you all!

Packing for the 2011-2012 Season: Bag #5

Tuesday I had planned to take a day off from packing.  I was ready to do my “cleaning out” time.  I tend to do this every time when we pack up to leave or unpack when we get home.  I enjoy going through and gathering up all the random and scattered items around the house and disposing of them (admittingly, I probably enjoy this a bit too much!)  I had a few hours with just Isaiah that morning, so I got to go through drawers, nightstands, bookshelves, etc. to find lots of items that could head out to the trash or be put away where they belonged.

As you can see from the picture, three of the packed bags had to be moved downstairs to the entry way to make room for another bag. And I also brought out some bins to continue to get clothes that would be too small when we got home put away.

But that night when I saw the huge pile of things sitting in the bedroom, I decided I might as well pack another bag.  I had just gone through Abby’s clothes with her, set out outfits for the next 5 days and decided what she would take, so I figured I would put it in a bag instead of setting it on my floor.  So the fifth bag was packed with:

- the majority of Abby’s clothes, plus clothes from the rest of us that came out of the washer and dryer
- another foam roller and a few other items for Joe’s teammates
- cloth diapers
- 2 sets of sheets for the girls
- more vitamins
- Abby’s doll and doll clothes
- each of the kids “girl and boy” bags

After getting that bag packed, I saw I will definitely need at least 2 more bags. Once I get the 6th bag packed, I will be able to better tell if it is going to take 1 or 2 more bags after that. I was hoping to keep it to 8 bags, so hopefully I only need 1 more bag.

Almost ready to go,

Packing for the 2011-2012 Season: Bag #4

Yesterday I got another bag packed.  It helped me to feel like their is a light at the end of the tunnel to pack this one up.  This bag included:

- majority of Elijah’s clothes
- more clothes of Naomi and Isaiah that had come out of the dryer
- set of sheets for Elijah
- another foam roller for another teammate
- swim gear
- a few Christmas presents
- exercise equipment
- couple jars of peanut butter
- vitamins and a few more personal care items

I think I am going to be needing 2-3 more bags by the time I am all done. So I am in good shape right now with less than a week to go!