You know by now I am a numbers girls.  So the other day when I was thinking about the things in Europe that first stood out to me when first lived abroad, but now seem “normal”, I decided to look at how much of the last (almost) 9 years of my life I have spent overseas.

Joe and I have been married for 105 months.

Of those 105 months, about 49 of those months have been spent living abroad.

Which means about 47% of my life over the last 9 years, I have been living in Europe (Greece, Poland, Italy, Spain and Turkey).

So it’s no wonder the following things don’t even make me look twice anymore.

1. Cars Parked Right Up on the Sidewalk
It’s all over the place. Narrow streets and limited parking mean it is totally acceptable for cars to pull right up on the sidewalk. It has made trying to walk around the city we were in this season (especially with children) quite a challenge though.

2. Teenagers Engaging in Way Too Much PDA
I remember when we were in Greece and we went to Applebee’s one of the first weeks we were there. There was barely anyone else there, but diagonally across from us in a booth were two teenagers making out in such a way that I could barely eat. I thought it was just an isolated event, but the longer I am over here, the more I see that teenagers get away with a lot more in pubic than what would be acceptable in the U.S. (I know many of you are shaking your heads thinking it is bad in the U.S., but trust me, it is worse in Europe).

3. Motorbikes Weaving in and out of Traffic
Although they can still catch me off guard at times, I now at least know that a person on a motorbike or motorcycle has no fear or regard for their life. And there is not a space that is too small for them to squeeze through.

4. Pharmacies on Every Block
That little green cross is the sign for the pharmacy. When we were first in Italy, I was unsure about why there were one of these every block until I realized it was a pharmacy and that many things you would usually purchase at a grocery store (hydrogen peroixide for example) now had to be purchased at one of these.

5. Every Fifth Car Being a Fiat Punto
In my 47% of life in Europe over the last 9 years, I may have seen a million Fiat Punto’s. They are like every 5th car you see on the road (obviously more here in Italy because they are made here, which is why I have seen them so much because I have spent the most time in Italy). Add in all the Fiat Panda’s, Cinquecento’s, Uno’s, Doblo’s and Multipla’s and they may have 50% of the cars on the road in Italy.

6. Stopping for Animals to Cross the Street
I don’t even get surprised anymore when the sheep are crossing. Horses on the side of the road don’t make me blink. And goats close by can be a regular occurrence.

7. Nothing Being Open on Sundays or During the Afternoon
Making sure I have enough food for the whole weekend has been an adjustment, but now at least I don’t attempt to try and go pick something up at the grocery store on Sunday. And the afternoon is rest time now. Knowing most everything will be closed makes the afternoon restful but can make the morning a little more cramped to get everything done.

8. Lots of Graffiti
The graffiti is on everything and is everywhere. I think many of the cities we have lived in would have been a lot nicer had there been less graffiti.

9. Watching My Step on the Sidewalk
Another way the city could be nicer: fines for leaving your pet’s poop. But now I walk with my eyes cast down, looking to keep my own feet clear as well as the over 3 sets of feet I may have to look out for.

10. People Cutting in Front of Me in Line
This has been a tough one because we are generally friendlier in the U.S. about certain things (more smiles on the street, allowing the person who was furthest in the checkout line to go first if another line opens up, etc.) but now I am not surprised when someone just cuts in front in line. I used to take it personally, but anymore I realize it is just the only thing they know.

It is probably different in other countries we haven’t lived in, but these are some things that I get used to while we live overseas. But now I have to get used to the idiosyncrasies of the U.S. again!

I had the privilege of being able to ask Travel Comfort Specialist Anya Clowers, RN from Jet with Kids a few questions about traveling with children. Anya has been interviewed in:

The New York Times
The USA Today
ABC News
NBC Today
Web MD

as well as various other online resources. Her website and blog are chock full of helpful resources. You can also follow Jet with Kids on Facebook or Twitter.  Other links that may be of value are:
Make it comfortable
Entertaining kids on planes
Respecting others on planes

Enjoy her helpful tips about traveling with children.

1. What is the biggest mistake you see parents make when flying with young children?
Parents are busy making sure flights are on time, bag contents are airport security approved, and diapers are stocked. We sometimes get so busy we forget to guide our children through the process. Eliminating fears, explaining noises and scenes, and involving them at age appropriate levels at every step is important so they know what to expect and what is expected of them. (& recognizing that as kids change and grow new fears or issues may arise… even if they are frequent fliers!)

It’s ultra important to pack extra time into the itinerary to be able to encourage involved children. Airport and airplane books help start the conversation weeks before a trip from the comfort of home. I encourage parents to bring those same books along when traveling and read them again when the child can point to the objects they see in front of them – bringing the book to life! However, be realistic with travel day expectations. Too much “new and exciting” can also be overwhelming and backfire.

Don’t expect kids to wait in long lines with nothing to do, eat, or drink. Interact with them, play quiet games by observing the colors or suitcases nearby, and always have a back up plan when these things fail. A well timed video or soothing music with headphones may help bridge the gap. Think simple and distraction. A brown paper bag with markers and bandaids to decorate it are inexpensive and time consuming. (& new! Bandaids are not usually allowed as toys!)

The other thing often overlooked is recognition that tantrums are usually a result of some form of discomfort. Hungry, tired, dehydrated, restless, teething, or ill children will act out when their system is overloaded. Sometimes just taking a quiet moment to evaluate the situation can help parents to see the solution. Air travel often distracts parents and may result in parents missing windows of opportunity or signs a meltdown is on the way. Time and patience as well as involvement are key to successful flights with kids.

2. For many of us basketball wives, we end up traveling on our own with multiple children, what one tip would you give us to make the travel easier?
Remember, you know your children best, and every child is unique. Avoid looking at the “multiple” side of things and plan each child’s travel day individually. What does the oldest do best? What are they most sensitive to? What can they “help” with? Which child is most sensitive to noise? View them as “only” children when planning for their individual needs. Although they travel as a group, if their bags are packed for individual needs and the day is discussed planning what each child’s role will be, then the “team” will do well. On the other hand, lumping them all together as “a group of kids” is overwhelming and likely to short circuit the parent! Bring headphone splitters for multiple users.

3. We are also often making long international flights with multiple connections. In that time, it can be tough for our children to be perfectly behaved and quiet the entire time. When we reach a moment of a child having a meltdown and we have done all we can, what should we say to another passenger who is being “less than kind” towards being on the same plane with children?

Well first, we can’t expect kids to be perfect – and let’s face it, there are plenty of adults who are less than perfect on those incredibly long international days. There will always be people who don’t like to be near crying children. However, realize they too are probably tired and it’s always easier to hear our own child cry than someone else’s child simply because we understand the reason for the tears.

I know this may sound strange – but….Be sympathetic. I found my crabbiest hospital patients were the most unhappy inside. Once I understood their anger and crabbiness, I didn’t take their rude behavior personally. Instead I loved the challenge. Look at those crabby passengers as a challenge. Observe things from their viewpoint. They are tired and sick of traveling – maybe even have a headache or are sitting on an inflamed hemorrhoid. Give them the benefit of the doubt and don’t take their comments or looks personally. However, ignoring them may just increase tension in an already tense environment. Remember that laughter does wonders – even if on top of a screaming child. Break the tension… be creative… it will help you in the process!

I always recommend immediately establishing contact with passengers nearby when boarding. Make eye contact, smile, and tell them you will do your best to not interrupt their flight. Ask them to tell you if your child is kicking their seat or bothering them. This acknowledges respect.

Recognize that in cramped quarters reality is your child does affect others. Be kind. Bring a bag of earplugs or some chocolate. Offer to buy someone a drink on the plane if appropriate. My point is parents often just get offended by others not being kind. Turn it around. Reality is crying does affect the quality of travel for others. Reality is we choose to have kids and bring them on airplanes. Be kind. Although no parent enjoys a crying child, it is a sacrifice we accept as their parents. Expecting others to be as tolerant is not fair and only sets us up for disappointment. Many times others just want to know that parents will take responsibility for kids. They want parents to acknowledge that their kids are affecting them. They need comfort!

Take it to the unexpected level. Have your child make a small card with the outline of their handprint before the day of travel. Attach a sealed piece of candy and some individually wrapped ear plugs. On the card, write, “I have had a long day of travel. Are you sick of traveling too?” or something silly.

4. One of the problems I have run into in travel is that certain European airlines do not allow car seats on the plane. When this is your only option to getting to the city your husband is playing in, what do you suggest to offer the best safety measures available for your child?

This is a bit out of my expertise as I am not as familiar with European standards. However, this Fall I have a meeting in London with Virgin Atlantic and with the TUV in Germany so I will be better able to address these issues. But I am able to comment on one product I love and have used worldwide…

If a child is between 22-44lbs. the CARES harness will change the way you travel. It is literally one of my favorite travel products because of the incredible convenience, comfort, and safety it provides to my family. Do you want more info on this? I have used our CARES on airlines around the world.

According to inventor Louise Stoll, it can be used widely throughout Europe.
“The UK Civil Aviation Authority–(approves it), which means you can use it on any UK airline. It is also certified for all phases of flight by the US Federal Aviation restraint (FAA), and the aviation authorities of Canada, Australia, New Zealand, Switzerland, Singapore and Israel. It is welcomed by nearly all the major airlines of Europe, Asia, the Middle East and Africa, as they generally recognize and honour the certification of the FAA.”

5. The list of what to pack on your website is a great resource and very extensive, but for women like me who are traveling with multiple children on my own, it can often be a bigger stress to have more things to take care of. What would be your top 3 essentials to pack in a child’s carry-on?

I often tell parents the most important things to pack in the carry on are products addressing illness. Never rely on airports or airlines to supply infant or children’s dose products.
1. CeraLyte after/during diarrhea or vomiting to prevent dehydration is ultra important for little ones,
2. Fever and pain reducer (ibuprofen or acetaminophen),
3. Consider EarPopper for kids 3-4yrs and older who suffer with ear issues when flying that don’t respond to yawning or swallowing.  The EarPopper turned my son’s cries into laughter and made me a lifelong believer!
*EarPopper is prescription in USA and over the counter everywhere else. Please note my position on the Advisory Board for Summit Medical, Inc. represents my belief in this product.
4. One last thing? I have had great success treating my son’s cold symptoms with Boiron Cold Calm and flu symptoms with Oscillococcinum (these are manufactured by a French company and popular in European pharmacies).

There are a lot of great products listed on my site, however, it is recommended to identify issues causing stress and specific needs for the family and then find “Products Worth Packing” according to your needs. Overpacking is never advised. Think quality versus quantity!

ERGObaby carriers can hold kids up to 40lbs. and traveling with this comfortable carrier is almost like traveling with an assistant! For infants, toddlers, and even some preschoolers- this ergonomically correct carrier keeps little ones nearby while mom is busy. Using the ERGObaby in airports and at destinations is a back and sanity saver! Naps, snacks, and people watching are great activities for the carriers- keeping little ones happy, safe, and close by. However, please note carriers and slings are NOT appropriate for use in flight as a restraint. Every passenger regardless of age should have their own seat belt. Nothing else is safe.

As mentioned earlier, CARES harness is fantastic for safety and eliminates hauling multiple car seats through airports -or facing car seats that don’t fit in cramped airplane rows!

Entertainment: Wikki Sticks, Wyzi Wipes, and Airplane Activity Kits are great for kids on airplanes.  A well stocked iPhone/iPod/iPad can hold favorite photo slideshows, apps for kids to “color” and games to play, fun with taking photos and video while on the plane, audiobooks, soothing music to sleep to or just block out all the noise and stimulation of travel, and of course when the time calls for it – a video of a favorite tv show or movie. Use the Mophie Juice Pack to bring along extra battery power!  Even if not normally allowed to watch television or videos, traveling for hours and hours is not a normal event for little ones. Sometimes a little assistance from a video will give all a breather.

Over in my Basket Wives section, I have a page on traveling with children that links to some posts I have written on traveling with kids on airplanes overseas (interestingly enough, I have never done only a domestic flight with children unless it was connecting to an international one, so when that day comes I think the domestic flight might feel like a breeze). To date I have traveled internationally now 17 times with children (before that I traveled internationally 6 times without, 1 time with Joe and 5 times on my own or with another group). And of those 17 times, I have done it on my own 6 times (with 1 child twice, with 2 children once and with 3 children 3 times). I have written on our travels with children through August 2008 in a part one and part two post, so I figured since another 2.5 years has passed, it is time for part 3 of that series.

May 2009
Joe and I took the 3 kids home (Abby age 5, Elijah age 3 and Naomi age 13 months) at the end of his season in Turkey. The trip from Bandirma was always bit more involved because it included a ferry ride to get from Istanbul, which meant staying over in Istanbul the night before. But this trip was pretty uneventful, save for a diaper explosion by Naomi. You can read more about that trip here.

August 2009
This was my first trip alone with the three kids on our way to Brindisi, Italy. Abby was 5, Elijah was 3 and Naomi was 16 months. It involved a flight from Philadelphia to Rome, a 4 hour layover and then the flight from Rome to Brindisi. I did have another basketball wife on the flight with me from Philadelphia to Rome, which was helpful, but the kids didn’t know her so it wasn’t like having a relative or close friend travel specifically with you. This was my first real encounter with people who were really rude about the kids on the flight. Naomi did some crying and Abby had a freak out about having to go to the bathroom as we landed, but overall they did really good and it was sad to see people who were so grumpy taking it out on a mother with three children. When I found out I was pregnant a few weeks later it made sense as to why I was so hormonal and emotional with the comments directed at us.

December 2009
In order to get home for a month over the holidays, I went at it again and flew alone with the kids. Abby was 5.5, Elijah was 3.5 and Naomi was 20 months. This flight went pretty well I have found with the kids that the day time flights tend to be easier than the night ones. Although some people think it is easy at night because the kids will sleep, ours sleep so much that when they get less sleep on the plane, they are much crankier. I was 4 months pregnant at this time and in my second trimester energy burst, so I fared pretty well.

January 2010
This was the trip of all trips so far. The flight back after our month home over the holidays which included an 11 hour delay in the Philadelphia airport. I have to say that one of the greatest things about this trip was that now all other trip look like peaches in comparison. You can read more about that trip here.

April 2010
I flew one more time by myself back from Brindisi at 8 months pregnant to go back to the U.S. to give birth to Isaiah. Abby was 6, Elijah was almost 4 and Naomi was almost 2 at the time. Abby was very excited to get home during this trip, but rested for me, Elijah took a two hour nap and Naomi, although she refused to sleep, did stay relatively calm. The best part of this trip were the fabulous flight attendants we had who were so gracious with the kids. Plus we had bulk head seating, which always makes life a little more enjoyable on those long flights.

August 2010
With 4 children at ages 6, 4, 2 and 3 months, I wasn’t ready to try it out on my own yet, so this year coming to Barcellona, my father-in-law traveled with me. We flew from Philadelphia to Rome and then had a 4 hour layover before our flight to Catania. After that it was a 1.5 hour drive her to Barcellona. That trip was tough because Isaiah was so young and needed to be with me pretty much the whole time, yet Naomi really struggled to settle herself and wanted me as well. She was the toughest she had ever been on a flight. Abby and Elijah did relatively well though and logged in a couple hours of sleep on the plane. Letting them know ahead of time that they would only have a set time to watch movies helped.

So now we are getting ready to embark on our return trip from Barcellona. Joe is coming with us and as you can see, it has been 2 years since we have traveled together, so part of me is excited just to journey with him once again. We have become a better team in two years, so I am looking forward to going on another adventure with my best friend. And even though I have done this numerous times now, there is still always more to learn about traveling with children. Tomorrow I will share an interview that taught me a few new tips I hope to incorporate on this next international travel to add to my resume.