Our Family

Vacation Reminder #3: Love Is a Sacrifice

August 12, 2011 By Erin Crispin 2 Comments

Any parent knows that when you go on vacation, the trip away may be a break from the normal routine, but nothing about it is relaxing. As the mom, I pack up for 5 people (trying to anticipate any situations we may encounter) and then spend the time away trying to keep all the children from hitting meltdown due to less sleep because of a new environment, exciting activities and overstimulation. So although the week is enjoyable, it is still very much a sacrifice and I often come back more worn out than I was before I left for “vacation”.

The sacrifice of going on vacation and giving your children the opportunity for an enjoyable time is just a small microcosm of what it means to truly love another. All people are broken, needy human beings, so in order to truly love them, you must give of yourself. So many of the problems we see in families and marriages today seem to stem from the fact that we have forgotten that love is a sacrifice and hard work. We read books and watch movies and ingest the cultural air that tells us love is something that is going to fulfill us, rejuvenate us and make us whole. Not that love can’t do that, but if it is doing that for you, it is only possible because someone else is giving of themselves (or in other words making a sacrifice for you).

Tim Keller puts it well in “Kings Cross”:

All love, all real life-changing love, is a substitutionary sacrifice. You have never loved a broken person, you have never loved a guilty person, you have never loved a hurting person except through substitutionary sacrifice.

In marriage, this is a give and take process. You are both giving of yourselves and receiving in a healthy relationship. But in a parenting relationship, you will always be giving more than you receive back. You will give and give as a parent and be spent for your children. And if you are looking for people in your life to fill back up that space that has been poured out for your children, you are going to become a pretty miserable person.

The amount of sacrifice it takes to be a parent, to give of yourself for the joy of your children, can only been done joyfully when you are looking to Jesus to fill you back up. It is the only reason the Apostle Paul was able to serve a variety of churches with numerous needs:

Even if I am to be poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrificial offering of your faith, I am glad and rejoice with you all. -Philippians 2:17

How was Paul able to be joyful in pouring himself out for others in the way he did? The answers are numerous, but one answer lies a few chapters later in Philippians 4 when he says:

The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Paul asked God for all that he needed. He didn’t look to people to fill his needs. He knew that in asking God for everything, he would be filled with a peace that people would never understand. And when that asking was done with thanksgiving, his joy would increase even more. A supernatural work occurs in our lives when we look to serve others without getting anything in return because we are so overflowing in the amazing love that God provides in Jesus.

May your weekend be filled with a sacrificing service of love towards others as you pour out the love of God that Jesus has poured into your own heart. Come back on Monday to meet our next featured Basket Wife.

Filed Under: Bible Verses, Christianity, Our Family, Parenting

Vacation Reminder #1: Traditions Are Precious to Children of the Basket Life

August 9, 2011 By Erin Crispin Leave a Comment

The time we spent away on vacation reminded me of a few things I already knew to be true, but were brought to light once again by being away from our “normal” summer routine. So I thought I would share some of the lessons I was reminded of during the next few days of posts.

The two weeks we spent away on vacation were something that we do every year (although not always back-to-back weeks). We spend a week with my parents, brother and sister-in-law and a week with Joe’s extended family on the Crispin side at the beach. Both of these weeks include activities that are done every year. And they are things that the kids look forward to and treasure the memories of.

I think that these type of traditions are important for all children, but I was reminded in my time away how vital I think they are for our children living in a basketball lifestyle. Our children have a lot of wonderful advantages living in different cultures and experiencing amazing opportunities as young children. But they also miss out on stability and consistent friendships and community. Because of the changing nature of our lives, we make decisions a lot based on how we can add consistency into their lifestyle. And vacation traditions are another thing in their life that they can count on staying constant.

I am so thankful for our families blessing us with the vacation weeks that we have each summer. But even without the means to go away each summer, you can find easy ways to add special traditions into your life. If there is one thing I have learned as a mom of four children, it is that children value consistency, routine and knowing what is coming. That is a hard thing to give them in this lifestyle, but it can be done, and we have seen a great reward from building traditions they can look forward to every summer.

Filed Under: Our Family, The Basket Life, The Kids

Family Pictures by Summerhouse Photography

August 8, 2011 By Erin Crispin 3 Comments

We just got back from being away visiting and vacationing with family for 2 weeks. One thing we wanted o do in the time with my family was to get an updated picture of my parents and their kids and grandkids for them. So after asking around about photographers in the central PA region, a friend from high school recommended Trinity Walker with Summerhouse Photography. She is based in york, PA but was willing to make the drive to my parents’ area. We met her on a very hot Sunday evening and she was just as sweet and personable as she had been over e-mail. We got some group photos taken and she did some candids as well. She put these photo teasers up on her site and sent them to me as well and I can’t wait to see the rest! If you need a photographer in the central PA region, she is the one for you! You can follow her on her blog, Facebook or Twitter as well to see more of her fabulous pictures of weddings, babies and families.

Tomorrow I will be back to share more about our time away these last 2 weeks. Happy Monday,

Filed Under: More Favorites, Our Family

Family Pictures by Catherine Marie Photography

August 2, 2011 By Erin Crispin 3 Comments

You may have noticed that I have given photo credit on a few of my recent posts to my friend Catherine. I just wanted to publicly thank her for her family photos she did for us and Joe’s parents when we were in New Jersey last month. If you are in the south Jersey area in need of a photographer, be sure to check in with Catherine. And don’t forget that she will edit photos for you too.

Happy Tuesday,

Filed Under: More Favorites, Our Family

What’s for Breakfast?

July 29, 2011 By Erin Crispin 1 Comment

The other night at dinner we were sitting and enjoying our meal when all of the sudden Elijah says, “Mom, what’s for breakfast tomorrow?” My mouth sort of dropped open as I looked at him and said, “Are you really eating a meal and wondering what they next one is?”

I reminded Elijah how he had never missed a meal in his life. I then went on to tell him how there had always been a next meal with more than enough food. But as I started to tell him about Jesus words about not worrying about tomorrow but being thankful for today it brought out conviction like my words do many times in parenting. Because of course, I struggle with the very same thing Elijah does: doubting the goodness of God to provide even though He has a perfect track record of doing so.

I am constantly asking God about the “next” thing before I have even fully appreciated or enjoyed right where I am. And I am sure to God it looks just about as ridiculous as Elijah wanting to make sure we had another meal coming in the morning. Because of God I have never been in want of anything I have truly needed. He has given me more than I could ever ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20). But I still question if He will give me “breakfast”. When I step back and look at the many times I question a God with a perfect track record, it seems pretty ridiculous. But it is not a new struggle.

The Israelites struggled with the same thing during their time of wandering in the wilderness. When God promised to provide bread and meat for each day, many of them did not believe that the food would be there again the next morning. So here is what happened in Exodus 16:

In the evening quail came up and covered the camp, and in the morning dew lay around the camp. And when the dew had gone up, there was on the face of the wilderness a fine, flake-like thing, fine as frost on the ground. When the people of Israel saw it, they said to one another, “What is it?” For they did not know what it was. And Moses said to them, “It is the bread that the Lord has given you to eat. This is what the Lord has commanded: ‘Gather of it, each one of you, as much as he can eat. You shall each take an omer, according to the number of the persons that each of you has in his tent.’” And the people of Israel did so. They gathered, some more, some less. But when they measured it with an omer, whoever gathered much had nothing left over, and whoever gathered little had no lack. Each of them gathered as much as he could eat. And Moses said to them, “Let no one leave any of it over till the morning.” But they did not listen to Moses. Some left part of it till the morning, and it bred worms and stank. And Moses was angry with them. Morning by morning they gathered it, each as much as he could eat; but when the sun grew hot, it melted.

God wanted them to trust Him moment by moment and not worry about “what was for breakfast”. And it is the same struggle that lies deep in our hearts each and every day: we wonder if God truly cares. The first lie to Eve from Satan was that God didn’t really love her or have the best in mind for her. And that is the same lie that is at the root of all of our struggles of pride, unbelief, covetousness, anger, lust, greed, self-pity, and on and on. We think we can’t fully trust God so we have to work to make sure we are covered for “breakfast”.

So I encourage you to take a look this weekend at what you are not fully submitting to God. What is your “breakfast” that you are worried He won’t provide for? And pray to trust that God will fully provide for that desire. It may not be exactly what You want, but He will always give you exactly what you need.

Have a fabulous weekend,

Filed Under: Christianity, Our Family, The Kids

9 Years of Marriage By the Grace of God

July 27, 2011 By Erin Crispin 1 Comment

I am forgoing What I Like Wednesday today to give thanks for 9 years of marriage. Of course, I could have just titled this post:

What I Like Wednesday: Being Married to Joe Crispin

I am so thankful for the way God has used Joe in my life over the past 9 years of marriage. There is nothing like being in a covenant of marriage where you are committed for life and yet seeing one another in the ugliest of states day after day. That is grace at its best in a human relationship.

And I am very thankful that this grace is not just a weak concept that means we just overlook one another’s faults. The grace is there to love one another through the sin and also encourage each other to put off that sin in God’s strength. Knowing that we can confront our sin in love has actually given me a greater confidence in our marriage because I know that we aren’t simply surviving by putting up fronts for one another. We have seen the ugliness and depth of sin of each other’s hearts and still love and cherish one another.

But Joe and I are very driven people, so often that drive to “get better” or examine every little aspect of our lives can become exhausting to ourselves and one another. Over the past year, I have seen the gospel shape more and more of our thinking in how to promote change in one another. There is still sin that is brought to light, but the answer isn’t just to be “more righteous” as it had in the past. But instead to just preach the good news of God’s love for us in spite of any change we may need to make. Having 4 children, getting older in years and being 10 years deep into a basketball career has stripped us down to leave us more desperate for God’s grace as we realize that the days of simply willing change are long past. We need God to do the work or we have no hope.

In the last 30 days, I have been trying to recognize my words towards Joe as part of a type of anniversary gift to him. I wanted to be more aware of what I was saying because I felt like I was falling back into being very nagging and “works-oriented” in my relationship with him. I didn’t tell him I was focusing on speaking more edifying, life-giving words and maybe he didn’t even notice, but I certainly did. I saw that even in “joking” words, I was more likely to give him a hard time than I was to give him “words of life”. So my prayers for our coming year of marriage is that the gospel would invade our marriage in an even deeper so that we continue to strive for a life of godliness, but do it even more so by pointing one another to the great love of God.

For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works.
Titus 2:11-14

Thankful for 9 years of marriage by the grace of God,

Filed Under: Christianity, Our Family, The Baller, The Basket Wife

Great Feedback from Friday

July 25, 2011 By Erin Crispin Leave a Comment

Photo Courtesy of Catherine Marie Photography

I was so excited to see the feedback I got in the comments and on Facebook from Friday’s post. It is always great to hear from other moms on their tips and to also hear that a post may have encouraged a few other moms out there. Today I thought I would answer and/or comment back on some of the feedback that was left.

My best friend from high school, Rachael, is one of the new moms who I have a care package ready to deliver to when I see her next week. She mentioned that as a new mom you are always second guessing yourself because of all the wealth of information. I thought Maria posted a good tip about really going with your gut on things. Sometimes too much information can be really overwhelming. One thing I would say before even “going with your gut” is that motherhood teaches you to quickly run to God. I was convicted of how little I do this when I had Abby as a newborn. I found my tendency was to want to “fix” the solution quickly. I would run to the internet, a book or a trusted friend, which are all good sources of information, but I was convicted one day as Abby was a few weeks old that I hadn’t “run” to God first. James 1:5 quickly came to mind:

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.

I had not asked the One who knows the intricacies of parenthood and my child better than anyone else for advice. It was a great reminder to me that motherhood would be a humbling task that has caused me to start almost every day off acknowledging my weakness and asking God for wisdom for the day. That way when I go with my instinct, I am more confident my feelings are in line with what God would have for my children.

Of course, many who know me still know I am a big reader and an advocate for being as well-informed as possible. So since my friend Michele asked about books recommendations, I will point you to my favorite Marriage and Family books in my Amazon store. There are a lot there and a rule I made for myself when I was pregnant with Elijah was to only read 1-3 per year because otherwise I got overwhelmed. My favorite 3 for a parent would be:

1. Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child
2. Shepherding a Child’s Heart
3. Grace-Based Parenting

My friend Angie also brought up a tip I have passed along to many moms from Joe’s Aunt Carol who was a nurse at Children’s Hospital Of Philadelphia (CHOP) for many years. Carol told me before Abby was born to persevere through the first 6 weeks of breastfeeding. Even though I was pretty determined to continue breastfeeding through a year (and by God’s grace have breastfeed 4 children for 12+ months each), that goal of getting to 6 weeks was HUGE for me. She told me that there woudl be pain, learning with the baby and tough times in those first 6 weeks, but after that it would really be a very easy solution…and she was right! I suffered through clogged ducts, soreness and even mastitis in those first weeks with my babies, but it was a short season and a good goal to get me to the time when breastfeeding did THEN become natural and easy. No one ever tells you it doesn’t start off that way!

And lastly, Rachele, another friend from high school, asked about transitioning to 2 children as she is about to do. I have written that I think every transition with a new baby is hard (and adding the fourth was especially tough for me). I wrote a post a few years ago when Naomi was a baby on some things that helped me as a mom of multiple children: More Thoughts on Having Three.

For those who would like some more reading about my journey as a mom, you can check out my series on Our Parenting Journey (it is a category link, so the post will come up from newest to oldest, so if you want to read the series the whole way through you have to go back to the very beginning).

Thanks again for all the great feedback. See you tomorrow,

Filed Under: Bible Verses, Christianity, Our Family, Parenting, The Kids

Happy 60th Birthday to My Dad

July 12, 2011 By Erin Crispin 1 Comment

Today is my dad’s 60th birthday. He may not be happy about me announcing his age, but with a big milestone, I wanted to take a moment to publicly thank him and share what a wonderful father he has been to me.

The more I see the lack of strong fathers these days, the more thankful I am to have had a father who loved me, was involved in my life activities and was emotionally available. There are so many things I am thankful for in regards to my dad, but here are the top 10 in this season of life that I am particularly thankful for:

1. He loved my mom and showed it at home. There was no doubt to me ever that my dad loved my mom. Not only did he tell her when we were around, but they showed affection through hugging and kissing. I remember growing up and seeing him come home from work to give her a kiss (and sometimes give her butt a grab too, which at the time I thought was a little weird, but now as a married wife I think it is great!) My mom worked as a high school librarian and at her school my dad was known as “flower boy” for the amount of flowers he would have sent to her at school. And his highest compliment of me was always, “You’re beautiful, just like your mother.”

2. He was affectionate with his children. Not only did he show my mom affection, but he was extremely loving with my brother and me. I remember finding it odd to go to friends houses and not see as much hugging and kissing as went on at our house. We would all pile in my parents bed to cuddle on weekend mornings and he would always come in and give us hugs and kisses before bed. Even when he would get home late from work, he would come in and kiss us goodnight when we were asleep. And he was always my “flower boy” too. Even through college, I would receive flowers from my dad on Valentine’s Day and my birthday.

3. He taught me the value of hard work. My dad is a very hard worker. He was not always one though and would share with us his crazy days of college. But when he married my mom he took providing for her as a very serious responsibility and worked his way up from a bank teller to the Chief Operating Officer of a health management company. He didn’t sit back and look for the easy road, but persevered his way through the career track.

4. He didn’t allow his childhood to determine whom he would become. My dad was a hard worker, which is easier for many who grow up with a great example of that (like I did with my two parents). But my dad grew up as a child of divorced parents without a father around and a mom who had to spend long hours working to provide for her children. He had no father figure, but to this day is an excellent father. He showed me that you can make your family anything you want it to be. Just because you grew up a certain way does not give you the right to be a victim of that environment.

5. He has never stopped being a father. Even though I am married now with 4 children of my own, my dad has never stopped parenting. He didn’t “get me out of the house” and then leave me on my own. He is still there for guidance and help and is always looking out for my best interests. Even though we may disagree at times about what that best is, I know his heart is always one of love towards me.

6. He makes staying in touch with us a priority. My parents Skype with us 5 mornings a week while we are overseas. Those little touches make it so much easier to stay up on one another’s lives and keep my parents familiar to our kids. When we are back home, we don’t Skype, but we visit, text message and e-mail. And if he hasn’t heard from me in awhile, he will often just call to see how I am doing.

7. He taught me the value of responsibility. One of the things I am most thankful for is that although my dad could have easily spoiled me (which he did a little!), he also made sure I was responsible for many things. My parents required chores, contracts for things like cars, set a curfew and taught me how to manage money by giving me allowances for things like clothes. This helped me to learn to manage things so that it wasn’t a huge shock once I was on my own.

8. He believed in me in a realistic way. My dad definitely had rose-colored glasses on with me at times, but for the most part he saw my potential clearly and pushed me accordingly. He was the one who first brought up the subject of playing soccer at Penn State when he and I went to a game Penn State played at Hershey Park Stadium near my parents’ house. I said I didn’t think it would ever happen, but he fully believed I could do. And reminded me that it was him who had said so when I was starting in the Final Four for Penn State a few years later

9. He is a thinker and always initiated wonderful conversations. Some of my favorite times with my dad were at the dinner table or riding alone with him on the way to a soccer or volleyball tournament or swim meet. He is a very analytical personality (that is where I get it from) and is always in for discussing debatable topics. To this day, I still enjoy hearing his perspectives on various matters because he always gives me a view point of something that I hadn’t thought of before.

10. He is fun! My dad has always been a joy to spend time with. He is still one to play with the grandkids or tell a joke. He has always been one of my favorite people to be around and I am so thankful for the time I have had to spend with him.

Happy Birthday, Dad!
Love, Your Princess

Filed Under: Our Family, The Basket Wife

Happy Father’s Day 2011

June 20, 2011 By Erin Crispin Leave a Comment

Another year has passed and Joe has again grown as a wonderful father and example to our children of our loving Heavenly Father. This was another year of adjustment for us as we learned how to parent 4 children. Joe has once again led me in learning how to enjoy the ride. Things haven’t always been pretty over the past year, but he has enjoyed the kids and the specific stages they are at in a way that I know has been a blessing to them. He was celebrated yesterday and I hope we can continue to celebrate him for many more years.

Filed Under: Our Family, The Baller

Time Away as a Couple

June 16, 2011 By Erin Crispin 6 Comments

Sunday after church, Joe and I headed with the kids to my parents’ house for the night. The next day we got up and drove to the Metro station, parked our car and headed into Washington D.C. for two nights on our own (no, I didn’t post while we were done, my posts from Monday through Wednesday had been scheduled to go up last week). This was our 5th time on our own overnight since having kids. I know that doesn’t sound like a lot since we have had kids for the last 7 years, but when you are overseas the majority of the year and have a newborn in the summers every other year, it gets tough to get away!

We had our first night alone in August of 2005 when Abby was 17 months old and we went to a Phillies game while Abby spent the night at Joe’s parents’ house. I was so paranoid at being apart from her that i woke up at 6am the next morning and had to restrain myself to wait until 7am to go see her! The next summer I had a nursing baby again (Elijah), so we got away on our own again in June of 2007, when my parents kept Abby and Elijah for us while we went up to State College for 2 nights (this was before we had a house here). I was much more relaxed this time, but definitely still spent some time thinking about the kids. We got away again to State College in the summer of 2009 (we skipped a summer again since I had a nursing Naomi in 2008). This time, my parents kept Abby and Elijah and Joe’s parents kept Naomi. We had a new home at this point, so although there was relaxing, there was also house work that was done. I was much more comfortable being away from the kids overnight this time. And then we had one more night to ourselves sometime before Isaiah was born. I can’t remember it exactly but I know Joe’s parents kept the three kids for us one night when we went out while living in New Jersey.

This time though, we went away from home for our time away. My parents treated us to a stay in a hotel in Washington D.C. and also offered to keep the 4 kids for us (along with the help of my brother and sister-in-law). We gladly took them up on that precious gift and had been looking forward to this trip for about 5 months! We got to sight see, have leisurely dinners and just spend time together. It was by far one of our favorite times over the course of our marriage. We try and make an effort to get out for date nights as much as possible, but an extended time away proved to be beneficial as well. Here were some of my favorite things about it:

1. Uninterrupted conversation. With the kids in the house, it is always noisy. They can all talk up a storm (except Isaiah, who still makes his needs known in other ways which add into the auditory level of the household). Joe and I can often barely get a full conversation with one another, but I didn’t realize how much we missed talking until we were away. There was barely a silent moment because we had so much to catch up on!

2. No needs to be met. When we first got to the hotel it was a weird feeling because I felt like I should have something to set up or someone to settle. But I just put my suitcase down and laid on the bed. And it was a surreal feeling to be not doing anything and know that it would be that way for 2 days. To have 2 days without someone asking for help, for food or needing to go to sleep made my day seem so easy.

3. Easy travel. It is so easy to get around when you don’t have 4 kids to keep track of. We weren’t ever in a rush (because we didn’t have anyone needing to get down for a nap or hungry or just cranky), but we still were able to get around easier. And we even got to hold hands, which is something we barely ever get to do.

4. Thankfulness in the quiet. When the pace is slowed down and you have a little more reflective time, I was able to better step back and be thankful. Sometimes I feel like I am moving at top speed all day long that I miss out on all I have to be thankful for. I was so thankful for our marriage and family and life in the time away.

5. Adult time. Besides the time together, we also got to spend time with my friend, Maria, and her husband. Usually in the summer when we catch up with people, it needs to be kid friendly, whcih is fun, but it was nice to plan a get together without the consideration of how the kids would be entertained.

I missed the kids and by Wednesday was excited to see them, but I was so thankful to my parents, brother and sister-in-law for giving us the opportunity to go away by ourselves.

Filed Under: Our Family, The Baller