I think you could look at this question for a couple of different angles. Most people when asking it are wondering if our kids feel some of the “spotlight” attention that Joe receives in their own lives. As of right now at their young ages, I would say that they don’t. The other week when we were with Joe for an appearance he needed to make at a kids’ basketball school, Abby turned to me at one point and said, “Why does everyone get so excited over Daddy?” Good question! I actually fumbled through trying to answer that one. Because he can put a ball through a hoop? I tried to explain to her the concept of the higher demand for people that have a skill that few others have, but she just kind of stared at me. So I finally settled with, “Because he is on television.”
Our kids don’t seem to really know any other life than having a dad that people like to stop and say “hello” to, get an autograph from or have a picture taken with. That is just normal life to them and I don’t think they really even think about it much. I am sure as they get older this may change and they may view things differently, but for now it doesn’t seem to be much of an issue.
Others have asked if Elijah feels pressure to be a basketball player since his dad is (or Abby or Naomi). Elijah tends to change his favorite sport every other day and doesn’t seem to really care if it is not basketball or not. He loves basketball and part of that probably comes from the fact that his Dad plays it and he loves and looks up to his dad. Plus he is around it all the time. Elijah had a better jump shot than most adults before he was 2 years old. It is something that is just a part of his normal life. I don’t think he feels like he “has” to play though. Joe and I are both trying to keep on guard against him feeling any pressure to play basketball just because his Dad does. It will be inevitable that as the years go on people will ask him if he can shoot like his Daddy or if he is going to play better defense than his Dad does. We are hoping to encourage Elijah to do what he loves and God has gifted him in.
The other area people often wonder about when it comes to pressure the kids feel is the moving around. This is an area that weighs heavily on both Joe and me. It is not easy to change homes in 9 and 3 month cycles. They both miss family and friends and have very little opportunity to put down roots and real relationships. Technology has helped this by staying in touch with those from home, but it doesn’t make the difficulty disappear. Just this morning Abby burst into tears about missing home. It is never easy to hear because we deal with many of the same emotions at a much mature level and reasoning. We focus on a couple of things in these times of struggle:
1. Joe’s job is a blessing. There is so much that we can be thankful for with Joe being a professional athlete. We get to see so many different parts of the world and experience lots of different cultures. We also get to spend lots of time together as a family since Joe’s job typically only takes up 4-5 hours a day when he is not traveling.
2. Our goal in life is not to choose the easiest path. We understand it is hard on them, but often it is the hard things that bring us closest to God. And our sanctification to become more like Jesus is the main goal, not an easy comfortable life. We don’t feel we would be loving parents if we tried to order our lives around everything being easy and comfortable for the kids. This doesn’t mean we don’t take their feelings into consideration, but we have the conviction that we must follow the call of God for our family, even if it means difficulty.
3. Life is going to be difficult no matter where we are. For Joe to stop playing basketball overseas would not mean life would cease to be difficult. Everyone’s life is difficult in some way. And compared to what many have to deal with, ours is not very difficult at all.
So helping the kids deal with the pressure of this life involves focusing on thankfulness, the goal of life and having perspective. And many times, Joe and I are reminding ourselves just as much as we are instructing the kids!
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