If you aren’t a Philadelphia sports fan, you probably haven’t heard about the recent “controversy” surrounding Sarah Madson, wife of Phllies pitcher Ryan Madson. Sara allegedly made some nasty comments about the Philadelphia fans to a reporter who re-printed the words on her blog, which then made it’s way to Deadspin where it went viral. Here is what Sarah allegedly said:
“I hate the fans. It is bad enough that they bother us during the season, but they will not leave us alone in December when we go out to eat. We stayed here during the off season last year, but we will be going to California this year. There must be something particularly bad about Phillies fans because all the players leave in the off season.”
She had particular snappish words for the female fans of her husband. “Can you believe that they have the gall to give my husband their number in front of me?”
Of course, as a fellow athlete’s wife, I have to blog on this. I had so many emotions running through me when I originally read about it through this blog post that our friend sent Joe and me. If you read about the situation at all, read that blog post by David Murphy. Mr. Murphy doesn’t know it, but he is my new best friend. Finally, someone has stepped up and defended the wife of a professional athlete instead of playing the same card that almost everyone plays, which is jealousy and bitterness at someone who has a lot of money and a famous husband. Apparently for many people, if you have money and are in a privileged position, you are undeserving of sympathy (something I learned last year when I sympathized with Elin Woods).
So I have a few thoughts about this situation, but I will need to break it down into two parts. The first part today will hit three obvious points.
1. This blog post should have never even occurred.
It sounds like the woman who wrote the blog post, Laura Goldman, is first of all a shady character. She is insisting that Sarah Madson knew she was being interviewed and her words would be published, but the Madson family is saying that Sarah had no idea. I tend to side with Sarah Madson on this one because anyone who has been the wife of a professional athlete for at least 2 minutes knows that you have to watch your words. I honestly don’t think there is a professional athlete’s wife alive who is dumb enough to say that to a reporter. That is like social suicide. And if you are married to a professional athlete, a large majority of your life is social, so you wouldn’t do that to yourself or your family. So assuming she did not say these things on record, Ms. Goldman is just plain wrong for publishing it. Those words never should have been published. If you are going to quote someone in your written media, common courtesy says you need approval or you don’t use names.
2. Sara Madson still needs to be wiser with her words.
All of us wives complain at some point about the city we live in or the fans. Even in wonderful situations, you are going to have things you don’t like about a city and some fans that just plain get on your nerves. But we wives need to be wise who we vent those thoughts to. I thankfully have family members and other close friends (a lot of former and current basket wives who can relate) that I can share with. There is no reason to share with someone you barely know. We do have a responsibility to represent our husbands. That does come along with the territory whether we like it or not. What we say is a reflection on our husbands (and my guess is Ryan Madson has said some similar things at some point). I am sure she has learned that lesson the hard way now and will be much more selective with her words and her company in the future.
3. Philadelphia fans ARE extreme.
Anyone who knows anything about sports knows that Philadelphia has a reputation for their sports fans, and that reputation is not always good. So this really should not be surprising. It would be like a New Yorker being stunned at the fact that someone thinks the majority of New Yorkers are loud, pushy and in a rush. There are certain places with certain reputations and although it doesn’t mean we need to say we “hate” them, when a woman who is 5 months pregnant with her fourth child says it, we really shouldn’t be that taken aback.
Tomorrow I will have two more main points to make about Sarah Madson’s comments.
On your point regarding Philly fans as being extreme, they are, however, the fans Mrs. Madsen is reffering to are in every city, everywhere. There is no doubt that Sarah needs to be much more careful with her words. There is no reason to say that about people who spend a lot of money to watch a baseball game, and help pay for her husbands salary. The life of people coming up to them has to be a part of making that much money, and being a face of an organization. Madsen is a very popular player. I dont think that she was very smart with her comments, and a stranger is no person to explore your thoughts on this subject with. I appreciate your oppinion, as it has softened my stance on this issue greatly. With this being said though, I go to a lot of games, and sit right next to Madsen, and the bullpen, so I see everything that goes on in there. I have seen multiple occasions where Madsen has requested a phone number from the crowd. It is an infamous sight, and I am sure a story that spreads around amongst young women. I believe the bullpen plays some game where they see who gets the most numbers throughout the season.
Great points, Bill. And I think that tomorrow’s post when I deal specifically with fan behavior will clarify more of my main points of how I feel fan behavior is inappropriate. I totally agree that many of the inconveniences that athlete’s and their families have to go through and part of the job. We live with that every day and the benefit of Joe’s job is well worth it. And he really does enjoy giving back to the community he plays in, as well as bringing joy to fans (esp. including his own family which you know!). The tough thing to know though is where to draw the line. These players are required to do a lot of community work as part of their job, so do family times need to be a part of that community involvement as well? . And many times when you are interrupting a family outing for an autograph, you have no idea that you may have been the 20th person to do so. For the most part as a family, we deal with this, but there are times, when Joe declines because it is taking away from the people he wants to have the biggest impact in life on: his wife and children. And as much as the fans do help pay the salary, they also have ample opportunity to have access to his life at other points. So it is a blurry line to know where that access ends, you know? And I can empathize with her because I have been there. I have been tired, cranky, dealing with children all night by myself and just want people to leave us alone. It doesn’t excuse the comments, but I can at least understand where they can be coming from.
As far as Madson in the bull pen, that is a discredit to him as a person and is sad to hear. To me, that is being as disrespectful to his wife as the other women are being. I still don’t think it excuses other women doing it, but it makes more sense now.
Thanks so much for commenting and check back in tomorrow with your thoughts too!
Wow Erin! I can’t even imagine. Getting numbers in front of his wife. And some of the fans thinking that you should just take whatever since they are paying the husband’s salary. Hmmm, special people are graced for this life. I’d probably come out swinging myself.
And you’re right, it takes wisdom determining what/who to share your feelings with regarding it. Any slip up could cost the husband’s respect/reputation/career, which are really big things for men. And it’s sad how inconsiderate people can be of family time. I could see how it would make people just want to stay in and not have to deal with it all the time.