Life with Four Children

I have blogged before about the transition of each of our children into the home and how each had its difficulties.  When we first brought Isaiah home, I would say the initial transition was actually the easiest for me.  But now almost 10 months into his life, I feel the most stretched that I ever have during the first year of one of our children’s lives.  I think there are a number of reasons that this may be:

1. I have never had a newborn (Isaiah) and a child that I am schooling (Abby) at the same time.  Having a newborn and the responsibility of teaching a child has added a new dimension into parenting for me.

2. Our children are all very close in age.  To have 4 children ages 6 and under requires a lot of work on the parents’ part.  Abby is able to do much on her own right now, but she still needs a good deal of help on things.  If our children had all been spaced three years apart, instead of two years apart, the oldest would be 9 years old and that is a whole lot more independent than a 6 year old.

3. Barcellona has been a difficult city for me.  For a number of reasons, this basketball season has been a tough one for me (possibly the toughest).  Maybe after the season is done, I will better be able to objectively reflect upon and blog about it.

Maybe I am just getting older and it is taking longer to bounce back from having a baby.  Or maybe any of the above reasons play into  why I feel more weak at this point in time, but one thing I do know is that the ultimate reason for it is this:

God wants to bring me to a place in my life where I HAVE to depend upon Him.

In the past, having 1, 2 or 3 children was hard, but I can’t really say that I ever felt like I was coming to the end of myself.  This is my first experience with that.  I really feel like there are many days that apart from the grace of God, I might just fall apart at the seems.  And as weird as it sounds, I know deep down that is a good place for me to be at.  I am now seeing how in the past I was able to rely on my own strength far too often.

I think we all have a different threshhold for getting to this point.  For some people, it may be with less children.  And for others, they may have a threshhold for more children.  Others may be pushed to their limit in different ways.  I also hesitate to say that this is how far I can be pushed because I have learned in my walk with God that I tend to underestimate the power of God in working in my life through my weakness.

This has made me step back and look at my life in a different way.  Am I living in such a way that I can handle things in my own strength and thus receive the glory for it?  Or do I get to the end of the day completely spent and running only on the fumes of God’s grace?  I know that I too often hold back because I don’t want to come to the end of myself.  I want to be able to handle things in my own power.  And I still can do much on my own in life even now with four children.  I still need to learn how to push beyond what I think my limits are to see what God wants to push me to for His glory.

Thanks for hanging with my random musings today,