Meet the Basket Wives: Michelle Betts

Today I get to introduce you to the first Basket Wife I ever met in my international travels. Joe and I made our first international trip to Greece in 2003 after Joe played half a season in the minor leagues and decided to finish the season internationally. We arrived in Greece as total “newbies” to the international scene and playing for AEK in Athens was like being thrown right into the fire. So I was very excited to walk into his first game and find Michelle sitting in the stands as well. Michelle was like a breath of fresh air amidst the crazy Greek fans where there were extremely intense emotions and very few women. We lived across town from one another (which in Athens can mean a 30-40 minute drive), but got to know one another at games. We even endured an away game in Athens together with some intense home fans. I also got to be there to find out Michelle was pregnant with their first baby. Michelle shared about her experiences at the doctor and made me much more comfortable about thinking of the idea of having a baby overseas.

The next season we kept in touch a bit, but then lost contact until finding on another on Facebook once again this past season. Michelle has had some really cool experiences and is a veteran at this lifestyle with some great insights to share. Enjoy getting to know Michelle today.

How did you and your husband meet?
Andy and I first met at Long Beach State where we both attended college. I had just finished my final season on the volleyball team and recently returned to school from Christmas break. One of my teammates told me that her boyfriend (a Long Beach State basketball player) just a new roommate that joined the team recently, and she thought we might hit it off. She called me up one day and put him on the phone…we set up a date…went out a couple days later…and have pretty much been together ever since.

Where was the first place you lived internationally? Can you tell a little more about the experience?
The first place we moved to was Bologna, Italy. Andy played for Teamsystem (Fortitudo). It was an amazing team full of superstars and had the most devoted fans I had ever seen. The fans banged drums and sang songs for every player on the team during the entire game. I had never seen such support. The atmosphere was electric and it was so exciting to take part every week.
I fell in love with everything Italy had to offer. The food, the language, the people, the animated hand gestures and the passion that everyone seems to have were so alluring. I adore Bologna because it is a medium sized city (not Manhattan but not Boise), so getting around (even if only walking) isn’t too intimidating.
As much as I love Bologna, it was quite an adjustment moving there since it was one of my first ventures out of the states. While the language barrier was tough to overcome, it was the little things that made the transition so hard. For example, I had NO idea that Lawry’s Seasoned Salt isn’t a phenomenon internationally like it is at home, and was nowhere to be found at the local market (actually ended up seasoning a steak with Taco seasoning). At restaurants when I ordered Italian Dressing, two little bottles showed up (one oil and one vingar).
I also wasn’t prepared for the ultra classy “dress code” Bologna seems to have. Going to the store became a chore because I felt I had to get dressed up or else be seen as a slob. Food and clothes drove me crazy, but what really upset me is the CONSTANT STARING! It was a struggle to keep my cool when people would stare or when the whole restaurant would stop and watch Andy and I eat and talk about us as if we couldn’t see them. On the other hand, once an Italian friend told me that her friend had just come back from America and was really distraught because no one looked at her! So, I guess maybe some cultures consider it to be complimentary to stare, but the jury is still out on that theory. All in all, I had a perfect little world on Via San Felice. Some of my favorite restaurants, a creperie and an amazing gelateria were right down the street from us. The waiters in these restaurants were like friends and chatting with them gave me a chance to practice my Italian. Across the street was a movie theatre that played movies in English every Monday. Needless to say, I was a regular there. I could also catch the 19 bus right outside of my apartment to my part time teaching job on the outskirts of the city center.

How many years has/did your husband play(ed)?
My husband has just finished his 13th season, and says he would like to play two more years.

What cities have you lived in internationally?
We’ve lived in Bologna and Reggio Emilia. Andy then went on to play in Athens for three years. The first two of those years I stayed behind in Italy to get some work experience. I stayed in Reggio Emilia for one more year, moved to Milan for a year and then after those two years of making monthly trips out to Athens to visit him I moved to Athens with him. The year I lived in Athens with him he proposed and then soon after I became pregnant with our first child. We got married that summer and then moved to Vitoria for two years where I had my first child. We then lived in Barcelona for two years. That’s where I had my second child. Then we lived in Seville for a year. After the year in Seville my husband ended up without a contract at the beginning of the next season. Not knowing how long he would be without a job I decided to settle in Malaga where we had been on vacation several times. I figured that because there is such a large international community and plenty of international schools there that it would be a fairly easy adjustment for us. It was also a bonus that Andy could train with the team in Malaga while he waited for the right offer to come along. Andy ended up getting a job with Aris in Thessaloniki in the beginning of January. Since the girls were already in school and his contract was only until the end of that season we decided that it would be best for us to stay in Malaga and visit him. Then the following year he signed with Aris again for one year. Again, we decided to stay in Malaga since the girls were really settled in and we had for the first time in their lives some kind of stability. We had friends, playdates, slumber parties and carpools. For the first time ever we had all the things that are really hard to come by when you only live somewhere for a season or two. My husband not being here also pushed me to make connections with people that I may not have ever explored had he been with us. In years past I had always pretty much stuck with the other wives since they were the people I naturally spent the most time with. Also, we usually had so much in common and not many people can understand how our daily lives work. While the comfort of having those wives around is invaluable it has been such a wonderful experience for me and the kids to also mix with people who are not involved in the basketball world. It has helped us actually feel like part of the community in which we live. Luckily, since we’ve been in Malaga I have had the fortune to have both basket wife friends as well as non basket wife friends. So, when I’ve needed to talk about problems related to our unique lifestyle I was able to get that support. I can’t say that everything has been perfect here in Malaga since we have, in fact, been without my husband for most of the last three years. There are times when I question what we’ve done and how this temporary living situation will affect our family and most importantly the children. However, we reevaluate our situation every year and have made the best decision we could for our family in each of the past three seasons. My third child was born here in Malaga last year. My husband has just returned from his third season living apart from us. This year he was in Kiev and had the honor of winning the Ukranian Superleague championship with Budivelnik.

If you had to pick a favorite international city, which one was it and why?
I have really enjoyed all of the cities where I’ve lived. There are many different ways you could go about choosing your favorite city. However, I would say that from my perspective as a mother of three children I would say that Malaga is the best. There are lots of international schools, children from all over the world, beautiful parks, the beach, constant sunshine etc. etc. There are so many things to do here as a family and the weather makes it so that you can be outside all year round. It’s easy to meet people here if you have children since all the parents hang out at the same parks. People are used to having foreigners here so I never get that feeling like I don’t belong. My favorite thing of all is eating fish at the restaurants at the beach and the fact that the sea is almost always visible. I see panoramic views of the water and trees and flowers every day and it NEVER gets old. I always think to myself that I have to soak it all in because someday I will really miss this.

Please share one funny moment in your life as a Basket Wife.
There are so many but the one that takes the cake is when we first moved to Bologna right out of college. I remember how after spending our first 2 days there together in a hotel we were moved into our apartment and the very next day Andy took off for a 10 day preseason training camp. I didn’t know my address and couldn’t figure out my phone number. My phone number was written on the phone but since in Italy they write a lot of the numbers differently than we do I just couldn’t figure out what my number was. So, I couldn’t tell my parents to call me. It was August so there was no one in the whole building and most of the city was deserted. There was no satellite yet but luckily the guy who’d lived there before us left some tapes of Sienfeld, the Honeymooners and a very bad bootleg copy of the Nutty Professor. Parts of it didn’t even have sound! I didn’t care though. I watched those three tapes day and night for the whole 10 days. This player also left a few John Grisham books and travel guides. I read all of them. To top it all off, Andy had only given me 100,000 lira for the whole 10 days. It sounded like a lot of money to us but it was only $50.00. So, every day I went to the Chinese restaurant next to my place and got lunch. They were one of the few places open in the summer and they were so friendly so I got food there everyday and ate half of it for lunch and the other half for dinner. I lost about 8 pounds in those 10 days! As a veteran to this whole lifestyle, this story always makes me laugh. I don’t think I could have possibly been less prepared than I was.

What was the toughest struggle you encountered in your life as a Basket Wife?
The toughest struggle was coming to the decision to stay here in Malaga while my husband went to Greece and dealing with the all ins and outs of what that decision entailed. It has been hard to be everything to the kids and to keep their spirits up when they were missing their dad. In the end I do think that this experience has brought us closer together and has helped us to not take each other for granted.

What is the greatest lesson you have learned as a Basket Wife?
The greatest lesson that I have learned from my life as a basket wife is to enjoy every day that is given to you. Instead of longing for the end of the season so you can finally be home for the summer or waiting for the day when you can live in one place indefinitely, and have pets, and enjoy all of the holidays at home, you simply need to enjoy today. I am no longer hung up with “getting through” or counting down any days until life settles. Yes, I look forward to someday having a more normal lifestyle especially now that we have children. However, I am not going to wait until that day comes to start living. I am happy in Malaga, in America, during a long season, in the summer, with my family complete with daddy and yes, even without daddy. I feel so fortunate knowing that my life so far has been full of stages, each completely different from the last. Each of them has provided me with fond memories that I will cherish for the rest of my life.