Meet the Basket Wives: Suzanne Turek

It is that time again: to meet another basket wife who is globe trotting with her husband and navigating life in a foreign country. I find the other wives I tend to form the tightest bonds with are either: 1) Christians or 2) moms of young children as well. And Suzanne happens to be both, which has been part of the reason we have been able to bond, even though we have never met in person. You will hear it time and again how the internet has been an incredible tool in bringing many wives together to support and encourage one another!

Suzanne is a positive and upbeat person who clearly loves her husband and son sacrificially. Suzanne also blogs at Our European Life if you would like to read more from her. I hope she encourages you today as she has uplifted me numerous times.

How did you and your husband meet?
John and I started “dating” in high school: my sophomore year, his junior year. I was the peppy cheerleader and he was the tall, gangly basketball player. As several Europeans have pointed out, “it is just like the American movies.” John would say he knew all along that I was the one for him, I on the other hand thought he was the one, but didn’t know beyond a shadow of a doubt until after a break up my freshman year in college. It didn’t take long before I realized I had made a horrible mistake and that he indeed was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

We made it through the rest of our long distance relationship, I graduated in three years and we got married the summer of 2005. We had our son, Kaleb, a little more than five years later, in the summer of 2010. I look back on our “dating” years and often have to laugh. After all, we were just kids that happened to be a bit mature for our respective ages. It amazes me how God has allowed up to “grow up” together; we are truly blessed.

Where was the first place you lived internationally? Can you tell a little more about the experience?
Oh our first year. I look back on it fondly, yet barely recognize my twenty-one year old, newlywed self. John and I were just so happy to finally be married and living together. That first year has so many fun memories, yet I have to laugh at our naivety.

We lived in Almere, Netherlands, a commuter city, of sorts, to nearby Amsterdam. I had never been to Europe, so in reality I really didn’t know what I was in for. I vividly remember getting into our apartment, taking one look around and sitting down on the bed to cry. I am pretty sure John was wondering if we’d even make it through the year. The funny thing is, that was actually probably one of our better apartments! We lived right in the center, within walking distance to the main train station, restaurants and shops. We were spoiled being near an airport and a large, international city.

I was just coming off an incredibly busy year- back to back semesters taking 18 credit hours, planning a wedding, managing our campus television station, and working part-time. So, it was a difficult adjustment for me. I suddenly had all my “badges” stripped away and I was “just” a wife. It was able to find two nanny jobs in Amsterdam and also did some marketing for the team… and I finally learned to do some cooking and baking because I actually had the time to do so. But, in hindsight I wish I would have been able to better appreciate the opportunity we had been given. What I did appreciate though, even at the time, was that it was just the two of us. We had to sort through any issues alone, without the interference of well meaning family or friends which really strengthened our marriage from the beginning.

How many years has/did your husband play(ed)?
John is in the middle of his seventh season abroad.

What cities have you lived in internationally?
We have been fortunate enough, thus far, to have only played for one team per season so our list is pretty straightforward:
05-06: Almere, Netherlands
06-07: Groningen, Netherlands
07-08: Gent, Belgium
08-09: Zgorzelec, Poland
09-10: Hagen, Germany
10-11: Groningen, Netherlands
11-12: Sopot, Poland

If you had to pick a favorite international city, which one was it and why?
As far as the city itself goes, I would have to choose Gent, Belgium. It was a gorgeous city with beautiful canals, cathedrals and a medieval castle. There was enough to do, yet it was quaint. The locals welcomed us with their arms wide open which really made us feel more at home and less like outsiders. We were able to find an international church in nearby Brussels and also had the opportunity to meet up with friends playing on different teams. Our apartment was actually equipped with a dishwasher and within walking distance to the center. And you just can’t go wrong choosing a city with easy access to fresh pralines- love Belgian chocolates!

That being said, I don’t know that I could pick an overall favorite year- they have all been special for different reasons.

Please share one funny moment in your life as a Basket Wife.
I hinted at it before, but really that whole first year was comical. Learning how to drive a stick shift, getting stuck in roundabouts, scraping the front bumper on a pole the first time I tried driving to one of John’s games. Not understanding why our friends wanted to go out for “drinks” every. single. night. (We were trying hard to save money that year… in hindsight we were lucky to have friends who wanted to do something every night!)

When we first arrived I immediately found a bakery and went in asking for “Dutch Letters.” When I was young it was a special treat, when visiting my grandparents, to go to Pella, Iowa, to get “Dutch Letters.” So, I just assumed they would have them in Holland. Why I thought they would actually be called “Dutch Letters” cracks me up to this day. The personnel at the bakery looked at me like I was crazy… until they finally figured out I was referencing Amandel Letters and to my dismay informed me they only make them for Sinterklaas.

John left for a week of training camp right away. I didn’t have the internet, so I walked to McDonalds to use a metal keyboard and literally pounded away brief messages to friends and family back at home. John, bless his heart, left little envelopes full of surprises and notes for me to open daily, and I think there were days it was the only thing that kept me sane as we couldn’t communicate on the phone. I managed to find some books in English at the local library and would literally stay up all night reading. Partly due to jet lag, partly due to boredom, partly due to a false sense of security. (Now some alone time to get a lot of reading done while eating snacks my hubby left me sounds pretty great!)

Then there was me trying to navigate my way to Amsterdam. Figuring out the train system with a map my friend drew me because I hate getting lost, the tram system, riding my bike in Amsterdam with heels on… in the rain. Getting fined on the train system because apparently I wasn’t using my discount card correctly. (Which wasn’t at all funny at the time, I hate getting in trouble and started crying after getting escorted off the train!) I look back on those days and realize now how lucky we were to be near an international city, an airport, and in a culture that speaks English well.

What was the toughest struggle you encountered in your life as a Basket Wife?
One of the hardest things for me is to watch John struggle on the court. Whether it is due to individual play or team struggles… there is absolutely nothing I can do about it but pray. And that is hard for me. I just want to fix it, make it better. I want him to get the playing time I feel he deserves and the respect every human being deserves. I think often coaches get by with saying things that would get anyone in corporate fired in a second. As wives we are usually front and center at games, and it takes everything in me not to lash out in retaliation at times.

What is the greatest lesson you have learned as a Basket Wife?
At the end of my life, it won’t matter what I have accomplished. No one will be at my funeral discussing my resume. Being is more important than doing. It took a couple of years into this for me to fully accept it. In the world’s eyes being a stay at home wife and now mother may not be that important, but in God’s eyes… I am right where He wants me. It is hard to be Mary in a Martha world. However, in the end my love for Jesus, the legacy we have passed on to our children, the relationships I have made along with the investments I have made in the lives of others is what WILL matter. I am thankful for this crazy journey because God continues to teach me so much through it.