Meet the Basket Wives: Wendy Penberthy

Today you get to meet Wendy Penberthy who was the first Basket Wife I EVER met. I told you yesterday a little bit about my brief experiences in the NBA and one of the wonderful women I met in L.A. was Wendy. Our interaction was brief, but I was so impacted by how kind she was to me, especially given the fact that her husband and my fiancee were competing for the same spot on the team…and that team was the Los Angeles Lakers of the NBA. Unfortunately, I have seen mean behavior in the sports world over less than that. But I wasn’t too surprised because Joe had shared with me that Mike Penberthy and his wife were Christians and really wonderful people. It was so refreshing in that pseudo-world of LA and the NBA to find a down-to-earth and kind woman. I was just sad we didn’t have more of a chance to get to know one another and hang out.

Since that first meeting in 2001, we didn’t have the chance to keep in touch much until I got on the Facebook train back in 2008. Since then, it has been a blessing to be in contact with Wendy. A lot of times in this lifestyle, I sort of feel like the old veteran, not so much because I am that old (31 years old is young, right?) or because I have been doing this lifestyle the longest (although 9 year is starting to get up there), but because we had children so early and so close together. I know very few women who have children older than me or as many as me in this lifestyle that I can go to for guidance and help, but Wendy has been one of them. It is so nice to be able to just send her a message with a question about the kids schooling or activities for them and hear back from someone whom I respect as a person and who also knows exactly what I am going through. So enjoy getting to meet Wendy and hearing a little more about her experiences as a Basket Wife.

How did you and your husband meet?
Mike and I met in 1993 at The Master’s College, where we were both freshman in college. It was a small college and we were both playing our sport, me volleyball, and him basketball, so we met right away. We also had a lot of classes together. I’m pretty sure we met on the first day of school in one of our classes but I’m not positive!

Where was the first place you lived after getting married? Can you tell a little more about the experience?
Right after we got married we moved to Fresno California for three months. We then moved to Murrietta, California for four months, all the while wondering and waiting where we would end up first with basketball. We ended up in Hamburg, Germany in December of 1997. Coming from a very small private college Mike had to continually prove himself. Playing in a division 2 German league was not what we expected first but it was a great experience. Being newlyweds and going off to another country it couldn’t have been better! Our accommodations were great, basketball was great, and we were only there for four months, as the season ended in late April, early May. It was a great first experience.

How many years has/did your husband play(ed)?
Mike played eleven years of professional basketball.

How would you compare life as an NBA basketball wife to life as an overseas basketball wife? What are some advantages and disadvantages to each?
Life as an NBA wife was MUCH different. I think I felt the pressure of this career far more than I did being overseas. The pressure from people around us, the media, the pressure we put on ourselves, etc.. I was very comfortable though at the same time. He played for the Lakers which meant we did not have to move, it was essentially our home town team. Being overseas, I had to make many adjustments that I had never thought of making. Adjusting to a whole different country, not being in my comfort zone with family and friends, learning new languages, or at least attempting too, raising my children overseas verses at home (I was pregnant with my first while Mike played in the NBA), traveling, etc.. The advantages of being in NBA were being “home”, the professionalism of the business here, getting paid on time, the facilities being nice, and my husband living his dream. The disadvantage… pressure! The best advantage of being overseas was he was still living his dream and we were able to have SO much incredible family time, meet some amazing people and be stretched like we had never known!

What cities have you lived in internationally?
We have lived in Hamburg, Germany, Coraucas Venezuela, Naples Italy, Reggio Emilia Italy, Udine Italy, and Berlin Germany.

If you had to pick a favorite international city, which one was it and why?
If I base this on how comfortable I was, I would say Berlin was by far my favorite city. It was definitely the most like the U.S, the schools, the doctors, the food, the language (most people spoke English), the basketball arena, our housing, the roads, etc… My husband would not agree with me though He’s a Naples, Italy fan!

Please share one funny moment in your life as a Basket Wife.
WOW, the first thing that pops into my mind was sneaking onto the US Navy base in Naples Italy with another American wife. To be able to get on base and get food, magazines, DVD’s, clothes, etc… was such a thrill! We had met some friends that would so graciously get us in but after 9/11 things tightened up on the base. We could only get on with our military friend. But one day he wasn’t available and both she and I were so desperate to get on so we drove over there, and somehow totally got in without him! We felt like the biggest rebels, and we couldn’t stop laughing the entire time. All we got was a Subway sandwich because we forgot once you got in you had to have your military personnel pay for your items. But it was so worth that sandwich! Only a basket wife could understand that this would be funny!

What was the toughest struggle you encountered in your life as a Basket Wife?
I would say our toughest struggle was different from when we had no kids and did that life to when we had kids. When we were overseas with no kids, I really battled with being lonely, especially when Mike was on road trips. I was such a homebody growing up so it was a very hard adjustment. Once we had our children and would bring them overseas, I think for me I struggled with anxiety over them… when they got sick, how they would adjust from leaving the “fun” at home to having essentially no friends, school and if they would get behind, and really anything that us mothers care about for our kids. It all worked out though, so looking back it seems silly to have worried so much!

What is the greatest lesson you have learned as a Basket Wife?
I think the biggest lesson I learned was how greedy and selfish I was as an American citizen. When we would go overseas we needed very very little. We were content with the minimal amount of belongings, and “stuff”. When we would come home it was like we needed all that “stuff” again. I don’t know if I would have learned this if I had never lived a simple European life. Most people there don’t have nor do they need the things that us as Americans do.