I was asked in the Basket Wives group on Facebook for tips on having multiple children. Anyone who knows me well that if you ask a simple questions, too often I go a bit overboard! I am pretty meticulous and detail-oriented. Plus I am a thinker. I am always thinking through why I do things, how to do things and what changes I can make to do things better. It is a blessing and a curse, and something I am praying about and working on:)
Anyway, I mentioned many of the things I had put in my Lifesavers post. I also included two more categories of tips: Transitioning with a Newborn and Plane Travel with Multiple Kids. So for the sake of my preserving what I write, I am posting them here as well. Some are sort of repeats, but never hurts to remind myself again!
When you have a newborn:
1. One of the great tips I got when I had my second was to make sure you take care of the older first. It is really easy to have a lot of attention focused on the baby, but it is a huge adjustment for the older child. If the baby is crying and the older needs something, take care of the older child’s need first. I also tried to find special things for the older child to do while I was nursing the baby. One of my friends brought out a special box of toys that the older child got to play with while she nursed the baby.
2. Another thing I did when I nursed the baby was to encourage the older child to get one of their dolls and feed their baby with me. We would talk about how you take care of a baby and how you wanted to be gentle and speak softly, etc. We always got the older child a new baby doll before the baby was born.
3. Encourage the older children to help with the baby. Any little thing they can do to help you will help them to feel involved will really excite them. Just running and getting a diaper for you will help and make them feel important.
4. One of the greatest tips for having more children is to make your marriage central. The children that usually adjust to having siblings the easiest are those who were not the center of the home to begin with. We did couch times where Joe and I would spend time together while Abby played by herself near by. It really helps them to see that the house does not revolve around them.
5. I am a big fan of schedules. It has helped me to have all the kids on the same eating and sleeping schedules. It greatly helped me in having all down for a nap at the same time so I could catch a quick power nap or just do something else to rejuvenate myself.
Plane Travel with Multiple Children:
1. We have found it helpful to talk before the trip and plan on each of us getting a short break during the trip. If we have seats together, this may mean the one just closes their eyes for 30 minutes and the kids are taken care of by the other parent for that time. If we have seats apart, one parent goes to the separate area for a short break. This can be tough when you have a newborn, but it helps us to know we will get at least one short break per plane ride to close our eyes and rest for a minute.
2. Plane rides are a great time to bring out new books, coloring activities, etc. New little toys they have not seen before work well too (although this has back fired with babies when the new toy holds no interest at all and I should have stuck with an old favorite toy!) The best thing I have found for coloring on a plane are Crayola Twistables. They are colored pencils that don’t need to be sharpened and won’t break in little pieces like crayons.
3. Snack, snacks, snacks…bring lots of them!
4. My friend always says when in long lines “pinch the baby”. In other words, a crying baby usually gets you to the front of a line. I have never actually pinched one of our kids, but I have stopped whatever bouncing technique I may be using to keep them happy to let them cry a little bit more:) It does tend to speed things up when they see you have multiple young ones and one is crying:)
5. Just know that it will be long and tiring, but it will eventually come to an end. it won’t go perfect and people may glare at you for your children at some point, but in the long run, it isn’t a huge deal. The more relaxed you stay, the more you help your kids!
I read your additional information this morning, and I was especially thankful for the reminder that God would grant me the grace (and in my case patience) to deal with an additional child. While we are quite content with one right now, things might change when Kevin is done player or in a different situation.