[T]hough natural likings should normally be encouraged, it would be quite wrong to think that the way to become charitable is to sit trying to manufacture affectionate feelings….The rule for all of us is perfectly simple. Do not waste time bothering whether you “love” your neighbor; act as if you did. As soon as we do this we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently comes to love him. If you injure someone you dislike. you will find yourself disliking him more. If you do him a good turn, you will find yourself disliking him less….[W]henever we do good to another self, just because it is a self, made (like us) by God, and desiring its own happiness as we desire ours, we shall have learned to love it a little more or, at least, to dislike it less….The world man treats certain people kindly because he “likes” them: The Christian, trying to treat everyone kindly, finds himself liking more and more people as he goes on- including people he could not have imaged himself liking at the beginning.
- C.S. Lewis in Mere Christianity p. 130-131 as quoted in The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God by Tim Keller p. 100-101