As a basketball wife, we get used to being on our own. Our husbands travel for away games, and depending on what league(s) they play in, that can mean days or weeks on our own in a foreign country. Many women stay home for either part of the season or the whole season and are by themselves in the U.S. But the past two weeks, I had a first as a Basket Wife. I spent two weeks by myself with the kids in Ukraine, while Joe was back at our home in the U.S. Usually if I am on my own overseas, it is because he is somewhere else in Europe, not back home. If one of us is back home, it is me there with him overseas. So this was a bit of a role reversal for us.
The short of it was after trying to rehab his torn adductor muscle here in Ukraine for 5 weeks, an MRI showed that there was still a partial tear near the insertion of the muscle. So the team offered him to go home to rehab for 2 weeks. In State College, he would be able to rehab much easier with the resources in and around Penn State. But for the whole family to go home for that time, didn’t make much sense financially or practically. So I stayed here with the kids.
It was really weird to have him at home and us sitting in Ukraine. The whole reason for being overseas is Joe and his job. So to be here by myself felt odd. But it did give me some good insight of what it is like when he is here on his own. And also was a good opportunity for me to serve him even though ti wasn’t necessarily easy or convenient for me. Here are a few lessons I learned in my two weeks:
1. Reading of others who have done hard things makes your hard things seem easier. When we decided Joe would head home, I was reading a book called “Kisses from Katie: A Story of Relentless Love and Redemption
2. Focusing on who God is more than your own struggles is what brings true freedom and victory. I am going to hit on this point more on Monday, but I realized while reading another book, “Jesus + Nothing = Everything
3. Getting through hard times is always easier when you your focus is on others. All 4 kids were sick at one point, we lost power, we had cold, windy weather and few places to go and yet through it all, for the most part I had joy because I was serving Joe and the kids. But even more than that, the service was ultimately for God and the joy that He promises for those who pour themselves out for others. One of my favorite quotes is from John Piper when he says in speaking of dark times in life, “If you want the clouds to roll back, start pouring your life out for others people.” (A Hunger for God: Desiring God through Fasting and Prayer
4. It is slow moving when you are over here by yourself, but that time can be used constructively. The hardest part for me was not that it was necessarily hard but that I had SO much time. The part I like about being over here is the slow pace of life, but when you are without your spouse and his job, that pace seems to slow to a crawl. It was in this time that I was able to spend even more time with the kids, get extra sleep, read a ton, and catch up on e-mail, Skype and phone calls with friends. I was also able to concentrate of loving my husband over a distance. I realized how when I am home and very busy and Joe is overseas, I don’t do as well with that as I would like. Now that I have seen how quiet it can be over here, I hope I can support and love him better when he is the one overseas by himself.
I am thankful for the lessons that were learned and for God using that time to chip away at sin to reveal more of Jesus in me. But as much as I am thankful for it, having my husband back is going to bring great joy too 
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