When I got pregnant with Naomi it seemed like a lot of people who had 3 kids (or more) felt like it was their duty to let me know which adjustment was the hardest for them. So I would hear comments like, “Going from two to three kids was by far the hardest adjustment. It seemed like I had twice the laundry all the sudden.” Or “Adding the third child in didn’t even seem like that much of a change to me.” It always confused me why people felt like they had to let me know how my life was going to change with the addition of another child. I was pregnant and caring for a 3 year old and 1 year old, didn’t I already have enough to think about and deal with?
So I didn’t really know what to expect when Naomi came along. Would I just sink down under all there was to do now that Joe and I were “out numbered”? From what I have seen in the first 3 weeks of Naomi’s life though is that every transition has its hard parts. There were tough things about going from no children to one child, from one child to two children and in becoming a mommy of 3. Whatever stage you are in is hard for the moment. But you also look back at the stage you were just in and realize it was a bit easier than you realized.
Here is a look back at the challenges of each of the transitions:
Going from no children to one child:
1. This was the toughest physical recovery for me. I remember being so sore from breastfeeding that I would cringe when someone would hug me. I woke up during the night with terrible sweating when the hormones were leaving my body and I had some serious emotional lows. With the next two births I experienced only a small fraction of this.
2. This transition was the most difficult in just trying to figure out a newborn. I had never been around babies and read a few books, but had NO clue what I was doing! I would second guess myself and think I was ruining Abby for life with everything I did. I was so high strung that I am sure I fed into her not being able to relax as well.
Going from one child to two children:
1. This adjustment was hard for me in that I had to truly learn how to multi-task. I thought I was pretty good at handling a few things at a time. But once I had a newborn and a two year old, I realized I wasn’t as good as I thought!
2. I also had the struggle of figuring out how to not become child-centered in my life once I had two kids. When I had one, it was a bit easier to make time for my marriage, but when the kids outnumbered Joe, it was a more difficult task to keep him as a higher priority.
Going from two children to three children:
1. This transition has caused me so far to call on Joe for the most help. Once I figured out how to handle two, I could usually do it pretty much on my own for the most part. But three kids has made me rely on him for more than before, which is often a shot to my pride. Thankfully he has been a wonderful help and has served joyfully.
So as I said, I think every transition is tough in its own way. And that only makes sense because life is hard. God has given us no more than what we can handle at our particular stage. But He also gives us just enough so that we call on Him for help.
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